1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.774 LUKE: All right, welcome back to the show. My name is Luke. I'm your host 2 00:00:04.774 --> 00:00:09.548 for Luke at the Roost. This is the radio show where we take callers and 3 00:00:09.548 --> 00:00:14.322 give them the best advice that we can. If you'd like to call into the 4 00:00:14.322 --> 00:00:19.095 show, the number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439 Luke. Also, new just yesterday. If you can't 5 00:00:19.095 --> 00:00:23.869 get to a phone and you'd like to participate in the show, you can send 6 00:00:23.869 --> 00:00:28.643 us an email. The address is submissions at Lukeat the roost.com. Submissions at Luke at 7 00:00:28.643 --> 00:00:33.417 theroost.com. So you can send us a question or a story or anything you want. 8 00:00:33.417 --> 00:00:38.191 And if it's funny enough, I might read it on the air in the next 9 00:00:38.191 --> 00:00:42.965 show. And if it's not me, maybe I'll have one of my robot friends read 10 00:00:42.965 --> 00:00:47.738 it for me because I'm lazy. All right. So today is Monday, February 16th. It's 11 00:00:47.738 --> 00:00:52.512 about 11.30 p.m. And our phones are lighting up like they always do at this 12 00:00:52.512 --> 00:00:57.286 time of night. the show, we have Hector. Hector, welcome to the show. Thanks for 13 00:00:57.286 --> 00:01:02.060 calling in. How are you doing out there tonight? 14 00:01:02.060 --> 00:01:06.000 HECTOR: Hey, Luke. Doing all right, man. Doing all right. Appreciate you taking the call. 15 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:09.941 So listen. I got myself into a situation here, and I don't know whether to 16 00:01:09.941 --> 00:01:13.881 laugh or start updating my resume. 17 00:01:13.881 --> 00:01:16.508 LUKE: All right, Hector. What did you do? 18 00:01:16.508 --> 00:01:21.105 HECTOR: So I've been flying crop dusters out of Yuma for eight years now, right? 19 00:01:21.105 --> 00:01:25.702 Good job. Decent money? I know what I'm doing up there. This afternoon, my boss 20 00:01:25.702 --> 00:01:30.299 pulls me aside. All smiles tells me I landed this huge contract in Mexico City. 21 00:01:30.299 --> 00:01:34.896 Three weeks coordinated with agricultural officials. Big deal for the company. 22 00:01:34.896 --> 00:01:37.851 LUKE: Is that something you don't want to do? Why you bummed out about that? 23 00:01:37.851 --> 00:01:40.806 That sounds great. 24 00:01:40.806 --> 00:01:45.568 HECTOR: No, no, that's the thing. It should be great, right? This is a promotion, 25 00:01:45.568 --> 00:01:50.329 basically. More money, more responsibility. Looks amazing on paper. Here's the problem, Luke. hired me 26 00:01:50.329 --> 00:01:55.090 eight years ago partly because my last name is Gonzales and my resume says fluent 27 00:01:55.090 --> 00:01:59.851 Spanish I speak about as much Spanish as you probably do maybe less 28 00:01:59.851 --> 00:02:04.613 LUKE: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret I think they knew they 29 00:02:04.613 --> 00:02:09.374 probably had strong suspicions at the time they hired you that you did not speak 30 00:02:09.374 --> 00:02:14.135 Spanish but that's okay because nowadays you don't have to you can get the Apple 31 00:02:14.135 --> 00:02:18.896 AirPods and they'll do the live translation for you right in your ear 32 00:02:18.896 --> 00:02:22.919 HECTOR: Oh man, I didn't even think about that. Does that actually work, though? Like 33 00:02:22.919 --> 00:02:26.941 in a real professional setting? Because I'm picturing myself in some meeting with Mexican agriculture 34 00:02:26.941 --> 00:02:30.963 officials, trying to negotiate pesticide schedules, while I'm sitting there with AirPods and like I'm 35 00:02:30.963 --> 00:02:34.986 listening to a podcast. 36 00:02:34.986 --> 00:02:39.785 LUKE: You know, I went into Mexico last year at some point. I went to 37 00:02:39.785 --> 00:02:44.584 Agua Brietta. And when I got there, I was trying to buy cigarettes from the 38 00:02:44.584 --> 00:02:49.383 duty-free shop on the United States side of the border. So they don't just give 39 00:02:49.383 --> 00:02:54.182 you the cigarettes. You buy the cigarettes in the United States, and then you have 40 00:02:54.182 --> 00:02:58.981 to cross the border, and some guy is supposed to bring you the cigarettes, and 41 00:02:58.981 --> 00:03:03.780 then you have to import them back into the United States. So I went out 42 00:03:03.780 --> 00:03:08.580 there, and I was in Mexico, and I couldn't find the guy with the cigarettes. 43 00:03:08.580 --> 00:03:13.379 So I'm asking all around, and there's a bunch of, like, their version of Border 44 00:03:13.379 --> 00:03:18.178 Patrol at the border, and they didn't speak any English or pretended not to speak 45 00:03:18.178 --> 00:03:22.977 any English, and they pulled out their phone, and they just did the whole back-and-forth 46 00:03:22.977 --> 00:03:27.776 transcription, like it was nothing. Like, they do that all the time. So I think 47 00:03:27.776 --> 00:03:32.575 it's pretty common. I wouldn't worry too much about it. But you can always start 48 00:03:32.575 --> 00:03:37.374 studying. I mean, it's not like you can't learn Spanish. 49 00:03:37.374 --> 00:03:42.103 HECTOR: Yeah, I mean, three weeks, though. I've been downloading Duolingo on and off for 50 00:03:42.103 --> 00:03:46.831 like two years, and I still can't get past the boy eats an apple. And 51 00:03:46.831 --> 00:03:51.559 here's the other thing that's dealing at me. I've been cashing paychecks for eight years 52 00:03:51.559 --> 00:03:56.288 with that my resume like they never needed me to speak Spanish before so it 53 00:03:56.288 --> 00:04:01.016 never mattered but now it does and I feel like a fraud 54 00:04:01.016 --> 00:04:05.723 LUKE: well you are a fraud you lied on your resume and you got away 55 00:04:05.723 --> 00:04:10.429 with it for eight years so congratulations for that but it sounds like it's probably 56 00:04:10.429 --> 00:04:15.136 pretty difficult to find somebody qualified to fly crop dusting plane that they trust in 57 00:04:15.136 --> 00:04:19.842 another country and they trust you so you just got to do the best you 58 00:04:19.842 --> 00:04:24.549 can and try to work through the Spanish you know Three weeks, that's quick, but 59 00:04:24.549 --> 00:04:29.255 you can do it. I mean, dual lingo is probably not the right way, but 60 00:04:29.255 --> 00:04:33.962 there's lots of other ways to learn language, and if you really need to, if 61 00:04:33.962 --> 00:04:38.668 you really have to, you could get at least a little bit of what you 62 00:04:38.668 --> 00:04:43.374 need. It shouldn't take you long to ramp up. 63 00:04:43.374 --> 00:04:47.972 HECTOR: You're right, you're right. I mean, I've been hearing Spanish on the radio stations 64 00:04:47.972 --> 00:04:52.569 down here for years. I should at least have some baseline. And honestly, the flying 65 00:04:52.569 --> 00:04:57.166 part I can do in my sleep, what's got me twisted up. 66 00:04:57.166 --> 00:05:01.325 LUKE: Just throw yourself on a Selena record, get some bitty bitty bum bomb going, 67 00:05:01.325 --> 00:05:05.484 and you're gonna be fine. Amherst yourself in Spanish, and you will pick it up 68 00:05:05.484 --> 00:05:09.643 faster than you think, because you have to. 69 00:05:09.643 --> 00:05:13.255 HECTOR: Okay, Selina, I can actually handle. My mom used to play that stuff all 70 00:05:13.255 --> 00:05:16.867 the time when I was a kid. 71 00:05:16.867 --> 00:05:19.658 LUKE: You can't handle Selena. Wait, does that make it worse, that I didn't pick 72 00:05:19.658 --> 00:05:22.449 up Spanish? 73 00:05:22.449 --> 00:05:25.842 HECTOR: She's probably going to lose it when I tell her about this. She's been 74 00:05:25.842 --> 00:05:29.235 asking me for years why I don't speak it and I always just shrugged it 75 00:05:29.235 --> 00:05:32.628 off. 76 00:05:32.628 --> 00:05:36.022 LUKE: Well, your name is Hector Gonzales, so I mean I would expect at this 77 00:05:36.022 --> 00:05:39.415 point in your life you probably would have picked up a little bit here and 78 00:05:39.415 --> 00:05:42.808 there. 79 00:05:42.808 --> 00:05:47.076 HECTOR: That's what kills me, Luke. Everyone just assumes. I walk into a place, they 80 00:05:47.076 --> 00:05:51.345 see the name tag, and half the time someone starts talking to me in Spanish, 81 00:05:51.345 --> 00:05:55.614 and I just stand there like a deer in headlights. I've gotten really good at 82 00:05:55.614 --> 00:05:59.882 the apologetic smile and the sorry I don't speak it. But my dad's of the 83 00:05:59.882 --> 00:06:04.151 family, they all came over generations ago. By the time it got to me, it 84 00:06:04.151 --> 00:06:08.420 was just gone. 85 00:06:08.420 --> 00:06:13.263 LUKE: Hey, well, congratulations on the new job. Do the best you can. And if 86 00:06:13.263 --> 00:06:18.106 they have to send you back to the States to do your old job again, 87 00:06:18.106 --> 00:06:22.950 then so be it. And if they fire you for lying on your resume, then 88 00:06:22.950 --> 00:06:27.793 get another job. There's probably plenty of places you can commercially fly a plane. 89 00:06:27.793 --> 00:06:31.295 HECTOR: Yeah, you know what? You're right. Worst case scenario, I'm back flying over lettuce 90 00:06:31.295 --> 00:06:34.798 fields and Yuma, which honestly isn't the worst thing in the world. I do love 91 00:06:34.798 --> 00:06:38.300 that job. 92 00:06:38.300 --> 00:06:42.438 LUKE: Well, good luck to you and congratulations again. Thanks for calling in, Hector, and 93 00:06:42.438 --> 00:06:46.575 give us a call back if anything goes wrong or you meet a crazy cartel 94 00:06:46.575 --> 00:06:50.712 out there and you've got a story about redemption. Next up on the line we 95 00:06:50.712 --> 00:06:54.850 have Marlene. Marlene, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life tonight? How 96 00:06:54.850 --> 00:06:58.987 can we help? 97 00:06:58.987 --> 00:07:02.927 MARLENE: Hey, Luke. Yeah. So, My ex-wife's new husband just ordered $12,000 worth of furniture 98 00:07:02.927 --> 00:07:06.868 for me, and I don't know if he knows it's me or not, and I'm 99 00:07:06.868 --> 00:07:10.808 losing my mind a little bit. Sorry, that came out fast. But yeah, that's what's 100 00:07:10.808 --> 00:07:14.748 happening right now. 101 00:07:14.748 --> 00:07:18.579 LUKE: Well, you know, all the places in the world you could buy furniture from, 102 00:07:18.579 --> 00:07:22.410 if he's buying it from you, then there's a good chance he has an idea 103 00:07:22.410 --> 00:07:26.241 of who you are. Right? 104 00:07:26.241 --> 00:07:30.181 MARLENE: That's what I keep thinking. the company's called Desert Reclaim and my name's all 105 00:07:30.181 --> 00:07:34.122 over the website. But then I'm like, maybe he just Googled Rustic Dining Tables, New 106 00:07:34.122 --> 00:07:38.062 Mexico. And I came up and he has no clue. He's this tech guy from 107 00:07:38.062 --> 00:07:42.002 Scottsdale, you know? 108 00:07:42.002 --> 00:07:46.709 LUKE: Yeah, well, I mean, you got to think about how internet search works and 109 00:07:46.709 --> 00:07:51.415 cookies and stuff like that. So there's probably a chance that she was looking at 110 00:07:51.415 --> 00:07:56.122 your Facebook profile and somewhere you're linked to your business profile on LinkedIn or something 111 00:07:56.122 --> 00:08:00.828 like that. And then that's a chance that's transferring to his phone, so when he 112 00:08:00.828 --> 00:08:05.535 does a Google search, it's looking at all that data it's collected on you, and 113 00:08:05.535 --> 00:08:10.241 saying he's most likely to buy his chairs from this woman. 114 00:08:10.241 --> 00:08:14.291 MARLENE: Oh, God, I didn't even think about that. So, like, Rachel's been looking at 115 00:08:14.291 --> 00:08:18.341 my stuff and it's bleeding over into his search results. That's, actually, that makes me 116 00:08:18.341 --> 00:08:22.390 feel weird in a whole different way. 117 00:08:22.390 --> 00:08:27.222 LUKE: Like, has she been checking up on me? Well, I don't know. I'm just 118 00:08:27.222 --> 00:08:32.054 saying that's one possibility. That is how search works nowadays. So there's a likelihood that 119 00:08:32.054 --> 00:08:36.885 that could have happened. And not necessarily like Googling you in the middle of the 120 00:08:36.885 --> 00:08:41.717 night, but there could be documents on our computer that are getting fed into the 121 00:08:41.717 --> 00:08:46.548 cloud for some PDF transcription service. Like, you don't know. All that you know is 122 00:08:46.548 --> 00:08:51.380 the data is out there and you're linked to him now in a not a 123 00:08:51.380 --> 00:08:56.212 cryptographic way, but in a digital way. And that link is obviously working. 124 00:08:56.212 --> 00:09:00.042 MARLENE: Yeah. No, you're right. I mean, we were married for six years. probably all 125 00:09:00.042 --> 00:09:03.873 kinds of digital trails still connecting us. But, okay, so whether he knows or not, 126 00:09:03.873 --> 00:09:07.704 do I take the money? 127 00:09:07.704 --> 00:09:11.973 LUKE: Yes! Luke, this is six months of my mortgage. This order would let me 128 00:09:11.973 --> 00:09:16.241 actually breathe for the first time since I started this business. 129 00:09:16.241 --> 00:09:19.744 MARLENE: But then I think about Rachel walking into one of those hotel lobbies and 130 00:09:19.744 --> 00:09:23.246 seeing my tables, the ones I built with wood from that barn outside animas, and 131 00:09:23.246 --> 00:09:26.749 I just... 132 00:09:26.749 --> 00:09:30.580 LUKE: Not your problem. Take the money. Congratulations. That's a good hit. That's what we 133 00:09:30.580 --> 00:09:34.411 call us in the business. So close that deal, take your cash, and enjoy the 134 00:09:34.411 --> 00:09:38.242 win. And thank modern technology. 135 00:09:38.242 --> 00:09:42.839 MARLENE: You really think so? Just take it and don't say anything? Because part of 136 00:09:42.839 --> 00:09:47.436 me wants to email him and be like, Hey, just so you know, I used 137 00:09:47.436 --> 00:09:52.033 to be married to your wife. Is that insane? That's insane, right? 138 00:09:52.033 --> 00:09:56.520 LUKE: You are correct. That is insane. Yeah, don't do that. Take the money and 139 00:09:56.520 --> 00:10:01.008 don't say a word. And who cares if she looks at York when she goes 140 00:10:01.008 --> 00:10:05.495 to wherever it is, she goes where they put your furniture. 141 00:10:05.495 --> 00:10:09.107 MARLENE: Okay. Yeah. You're right. I mean, she left me. She married him. I'm building 142 00:10:09.107 --> 00:10:12.719 furniture in my garage at two in the morning. This is literally the one good 143 00:10:12.719 --> 00:10:16.331 thing that's happened. 144 00:10:16.331 --> 00:10:21.093 LUKE: Nah, she got to be with somebody she wants to be with. You get 145 00:10:21.093 --> 00:10:25.854 to make maybe potentially the best work of your life. And you just got a 146 00:10:25.854 --> 00:10:30.615 nice paycheck. So it sounds like there's lots of good things happening. And all around, 147 00:10:30.615 --> 00:10:35.376 everything works out the way it's supposed to. And enjoy this small win. 148 00:10:35.376 --> 00:10:39.842 MARLENE: Small win? Luke, this is 12 tables. This is the biggest order I've ever 149 00:10:39.842 --> 00:10:44.308 had. But, okay. Yeah, I hear you. Take the money, build the tables, stop overthinking 150 00:10:44.308 --> 00:10:48.773 it. It's just, man, it's been a year of sleeping in my truck, watching the 151 00:10:48.773 --> 00:10:53.239 stars, trying to figure out what I'm doing. And now this lands in my lap 152 00:10:53.239 --> 00:10:57.705 and it's connected to her. And I just... 153 00:10:57.705 --> 00:11:01.809 LUKE: You're just freaking out. And you don't have to freak out. Do the job, 154 00:11:01.809 --> 00:11:05.914 get the money and move on and enjoy it. Congratulations. 155 00:11:05.914 --> 00:11:10.839 MARLENE: You know what? You're right. I'm going to do it. I'm going to build 156 00:11:10.839 --> 00:11:15.764 the best damn tables they've ever seen, take their money, and maybe finally fix the 157 00:11:15.764 --> 00:11:20.690 heater in my truck, so I don't have to freeze my ass off out there. 158 00:11:20.690 --> 00:11:24.958 LUKE: Excellent. That sounds like a great plan. And another happy rooster. It's time to 159 00:11:24.958 --> 00:11:29.227 hear from our sponsors. So in just a moment, we'll return. 160 00:11:29.227 --> 00:11:33.794 I'm going to be straight with you. I don't know what this product does. The 161 00:11:33.794 --> 00:11:38.362 folks at Bunkhouse DNS sent me a script and I've read it four times and 162 00:11:38.362 --> 00:11:42.929 I understand maybe 11% of it. Apparently your DNS is exposed, which sounds medical. Your 163 00:11:42.929 --> 00:11:47.496 queries are being logged by default, which sounds illegal. And Bunkhouse reroutes your lookups through 164 00:11:47.496 --> 00:11:52.063 encrypted tunnels, which sounds like something a villain would say in a movie before the 165 00:11:52.063 --> 00:11:56.630 building explodes. What I can't really tell you is this. I installed it. I pressed 166 00:11:56.630 --> 00:12:01.197 one button and a little shield icon turned green. Green means good. I know that 167 00:12:01.197 --> 00:12:05.765 much. My internet still works. Nothing exploded. And apparently my queries, whatever those are, are 168 00:12:05.765 --> 00:12:10.332 now private, which feels like progress, even though I don't fully understand progress from what? 169 00:12:10.332 --> 00:12:14.899 Bunkhouse DNS. I don't know what it does, but the shield is green, and that's 170 00:12:14.899 --> 00:12:19.466 enough for me. 171 00:12:19.466 --> 00:12:24.009 Okay. Welcome back to the show. Just a quick plug. Don't forget, we have presents 172 00:12:24.009 --> 00:12:28.551 out there on all the social media. So you can find us on the Facebook 173 00:12:28.551 --> 00:12:33.093 and the Instagram and the YouTube's and the Apples and the Spotify's all around. If 174 00:12:33.093 --> 00:12:37.635 you want to look at all the places you can find us, look at Lukeattheroast.com. 175 00:12:37.635 --> 00:12:42.178 And with that out of the way, let's get back to the show. Rick, Rick, 176 00:12:42.178 --> 00:12:46.720 thanks for calling in. What's going on, buddy? 177 00:12:46.720 --> 00:12:51.448 RICK: Oh man, Luke. So yesterday morning, my daughter Claire, she's 12. She fell through 178 00:12:51.448 --> 00:12:56.177 the on our stock tank trying to break it up for the horses, right? Full 179 00:12:56.177 --> 00:13:00.905 face pallant into freezing water, and I'm watching this happen, and I'm about to lose 180 00:13:00.905 --> 00:13:05.634 my mind. But she comes up and she's gasping, but she's not panicking, like it 181 00:13:05.634 --> 00:13:10.362 all. And later she tells me, it felt like her body just... 182 00:13:10.362 --> 00:13:12.004 LUKE: Her body just what? 183 00:13:12.004 --> 00:13:16.601 RICK: Took over. That's exactly what she said. My body took over. Like she wasn't 184 00:13:16.601 --> 00:13:21.198 even in control. Her heart slowed down, blood went to her core, and she just 185 00:13:21.198 --> 00:13:25.795 knew what to do. So I'm sitting there after she goes to bed and I'm 186 00:13:25.795 --> 00:13:30.392 looking this up. And Luke, it's called the mammalian diving reflex. 187 00:13:30.392 --> 00:13:34.661 LUKE: Well, that's pretty helpful, I suppose. Uh, I, for if we like jump into 188 00:13:34.661 --> 00:13:38.929 the ocean when it's cold, like, uh, why is it there? 189 00:13:38.929 --> 00:13:43.745 RICK: Right, exactly. It's this ancient thing we all have, like seals and whales. Your 190 00:13:43.745 --> 00:13:48.561 face hits cold water and boom, your body just flips this switch without asking permission. 191 00:13:48.561 --> 00:13:53.377 Heart rate drops, blood vessels constrict, everything shut down except what keeps you alive. 192 00:13:53.377 --> 00:13:57.482 LUKE: Well, that sounds like a very handy thing to have, especially if you're going 193 00:13:57.482 --> 00:14:01.586 to fall into a trough of water when it's frozen. 194 00:14:01.586 --> 00:14:05.636 RICK: Yeah, no. I mean, she's fine. She's totally fine. But Luke, here's the thing 195 00:14:05.636 --> 00:14:09.686 that's messing with me. I've known this kid her whole life, right? Change to diapers, 196 00:14:09.686 --> 00:14:13.735 taught her to ride, the whole deal. 197 00:14:13.735 --> 00:14:17.347 LUKE: Okay. And what's the problem? It sounds like she's perfectly fine, and you learned 198 00:14:17.347 --> 00:14:20.959 a new thing about biology and evolution. 199 00:14:20.959 --> 00:14:24.900 RICK: The problem is, I watch her face in that water. And it was like, 200 00:14:24.900 --> 00:14:28.840 I don't know her at all. Like there's this whole other operating system running underneath 201 00:14:28.840 --> 00:14:32.780 that I have zero access to. She's got the same emergency programming as a seal, 202 00:14:32.780 --> 00:14:36.721 Luke, a seal. 203 00:14:36.721 --> 00:14:40.880 LUKE: I've been kissed by rose on the grave. Yeah, I guess that would be 204 00:14:40.880 --> 00:14:45.039 startling. But wait a few more years until you see her get hammered. And then, 205 00:14:45.039 --> 00:14:49.198 uh, see what you see in her face. 206 00:14:49.198 --> 00:14:53.905 RICK: Oh, God. Don't even. No, but see, that's different. That's like choices and stupid 207 00:14:53.905 --> 00:14:58.611 decisions. This wasn't a choice. This was her body making calls without her even knowing. 208 00:14:58.611 --> 00:15:03.318 Like she's running software I didn't install and can't see the code for. 209 00:15:03.318 --> 00:15:07.176 LUKE: Yeah, and it sounds like it's doing a better job than yours too, because 210 00:15:07.176 --> 00:15:11.034 she acted superfluously and got herself out of that cold water before it was an 211 00:15:11.034 --> 00:15:14.892 issue. So what's the problem here? Her natural biology was taken over and doing the 212 00:15:14.892 --> 00:15:18.751 right thing. 213 00:15:18.751 --> 00:15:22.582 RICK: The problem? Okay. You're right. She handled it better than I would have. But 214 00:15:22.582 --> 00:15:26.412 Luke, she's 12. And I'm standing there on a Monday morning watching Evolution work through 215 00:15:26.412 --> 00:15:30.243 my kid like she's just... 216 00:15:30.243 --> 00:15:34.074 LUKE: Yeah, you watched Evolution the whole, every day of watching that kid grow up, 217 00:15:34.074 --> 00:15:37.905 and all of you growing up and all your parents. So I'm not sure why 218 00:15:37.905 --> 00:15:41.736 this is flipping your wig. 219 00:15:41.736 --> 00:15:46.070 RICK: Because this wasn't her getting taller or losing teeth or whatever. This was watching 220 00:15:46.070 --> 00:15:50.405 her go under and come back up with this look on her face like, Like 221 00:15:50.405 --> 00:15:54.739 some part of her I've never met, just took the wheel. She told me later, 222 00:15:54.739 --> 00:15:59.073 my body took over dad, and I can't stop thinking about what else is in 223 00:15:59.073 --> 00:16:03.408 there that I don't know about. 224 00:16:03.408 --> 00:16:06.034 LUKE: I've been kissed by Rose on the grave. Do you think seal is in 225 00:16:06.034 --> 00:16:08.661 there? 226 00:16:08.661 --> 00:16:13.477 RICK: What? No, I.! Luke, come on. I'm not saying she's literally a seal. I'm 227 00:16:13.477 --> 00:16:18.293 saying she's got all this programming I didn't know about. Like, what else kicks in 228 00:16:18.293 --> 00:16:23.109 that I'm not ready for? What other switch is flea when I'm not looking. 229 00:16:23.109 --> 00:16:27.542 LUKE: I don't know, man. It sounds like you're going to have to read the 230 00:16:27.542 --> 00:16:31.975 origin of species and do some research on the old Charlie D. 231 00:16:31.975 --> 00:16:35.915 RICK: Okay, you're busting my balls here, but I did look it up after she 232 00:16:35.915 --> 00:16:39.856 went to bed. The mammalian diving reflex. It's real. 233 00:16:39.856 --> 00:16:43.927 LUKE: Heart rate drops. Blood goes to the vital organs, the whole thing. And she 234 00:16:43.927 --> 00:16:47.999 described it exactly like that without knowing what it was called. That's what's freaking me 235 00:16:47.999 --> 00:16:52.071 out. She's walking around with all these systems I can't see. And one day she's 236 00:16:52.071 --> 00:16:56.142 going to be out there making decisions. and I won't even know what's running in 237 00:16:56.142 --> 00:17:00.214 the background. 238 00:17:00.214 --> 00:17:04.975 RICK: Yeah, that's true. That's how humans behave. Welcome to the world, sir. You don't 239 00:17:04.975 --> 00:17:09.736 know how anybody is programmed entirely, and just the little bits that you've been around 240 00:17:09.736 --> 00:17:14.497 for. So it's not to be shocking, but it sounds like you need to expand 241 00:17:14.497 --> 00:17:19.259 your mind a little bit. Your kid is going to be their own person with 242 00:17:19.259 --> 00:17:24.020 their own instincts and values and beliefs and skills. And most of them. them, not 243 00:17:24.020 --> 00:17:28.781 all, most of them will have absolutely nothing to do with you. 244 00:17:28.781 --> 00:17:32.886 LUKE: Yeah, yeah, I know that. I do, but this felt different. Watching her face 245 00:17:32.886 --> 00:17:36.990 change in that water, watching something ancient, just click on. 246 00:17:36.990 --> 00:17:40.438 RICK: Well, it sounds like everything worked out, and she's great, and you learned something, 247 00:17:40.438 --> 00:17:43.886 and that's a win to me. 248 00:17:43.886 --> 00:17:47.498 LUKE: So thanks for Colin. Give us a call back some other time. Gina, Gina, 249 00:17:47.498 --> 00:17:51.110 thanks for Colin. How are you today? 250 00:17:51.110 --> 00:17:56.035 GINA: Hey, Luke. I'm all right. So my brother and sister want to sell my 251 00:17:56.035 --> 00:18:00.960 grandmother's house, and I've been breaking into it every Sunday for the last three months. 252 00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:03.587 LUKE: Is your grandmother still in the house? 253 00:18:03.587 --> 00:18:07.856 GINA: No. She died in November. I have a key, though, so I guess it's 254 00:18:07.856 --> 00:18:12.125 not really breaking in. But they don't know I'm going there. 255 00:18:12.125 --> 00:18:15.737 LUKE: Okay, why are you breaking into your dead grandma's house? 256 00:18:15.737 --> 00:18:19.759 GINA: I don't know, man. I just, I drive down to Hachita every Sunday, let 257 00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:23.781 myself in, and I sit in her chair by the window for exactly two hours. 258 00:18:23.781 --> 00:18:27.804 Sometimes I'm on my phone. Sometimes I just watch the mountains. It's this floral armchair 259 00:18:27.804 --> 00:18:31.826 she'd always sit in. 260 00:18:31.826 --> 00:18:36.095 LUKE: Well, that's a nice thing, but if they're going to sell the house, you're 261 00:18:36.095 --> 00:18:40.364 not going to be able to go there anymore. So that's a bummer. What are 262 00:18:40.364 --> 00:18:44.632 you going to do after the house is gone? 263 00:18:44.632 --> 00:18:48.901 GINA: That's the thing. I don't want them to sell it. My brother left me 264 00:18:48.901 --> 00:18:53.170 three voicemails saying we need to list it by March. And my sister sent me 265 00:18:53.170 --> 00:18:57.438 the Zillow estimate and I had to pull over on the highway because I couldn't 266 00:18:57.438 --> 00:19:01.707 breathe. Like, I know how this sounds. 267 00:19:01.707 --> 00:19:04.991 LUKE: Do you have the money to buy the house? 268 00:19:04.991 --> 00:19:09.259 GINA: No. I work at a mortuary. I'm 21. I don't have that kind of 269 00:19:09.259 --> 00:19:13.528 money. But I can't explain this to them without sounding crazy. 270 00:19:13.528 --> 00:19:17.879 LUKE: Well, you're 21. You also don't have the bills yet that they have, and 271 00:19:17.879 --> 00:19:22.229 the responsibilities financially that they have to account for. You don't have to pay the 272 00:19:22.229 --> 00:19:26.580 taxes on that property and the upkeep and the maintenance. You're just going there and 273 00:19:26.580 --> 00:19:30.931 hanging out, which is great. I mean, if you've got a free place to go 274 00:19:30.931 --> 00:19:35.282 hang out, wonderful. But the rest of your family, doesn't feel that way about it. 275 00:19:35.282 --> 00:19:39.632 It's a burden to them, and it's expensive, and they might not be able to 276 00:19:39.632 --> 00:19:43.983 afford it either. So if they want to sell the house, then you should let 277 00:19:43.983 --> 00:19:48.334 them. 278 00:19:48.334 --> 00:19:51.837 GINA: I know all that. I get it. But she's still in there, Luke. And 279 00:19:51.837 --> 00:19:55.339 I know the difference between a body and a person. I work with dead people 280 00:19:55.339 --> 00:19:58.842 every day. 281 00:19:58.842 --> 00:20:03.767 LUKE: Okay. Well, so if she's still in there, does it matter who owns her? 282 00:20:03.767 --> 00:20:07.488 GINA: What do you mean does it matter who owns her? Some family from Phoenix 283 00:20:07.488 --> 00:20:11.210 is going to buy it and go. that the whole thing and turn it into 284 00:20:11.210 --> 00:20:14.931 an Airbnb or whatever. 285 00:20:14.931 --> 00:20:19.036 LUKE: Yeah, and that sounds like an ideal situation for your dead grandma, because she's 286 00:20:19.036 --> 00:20:23.140 going to be hanging out in the Airbnb, it's going to be all nice and 287 00:20:23.140 --> 00:20:27.245 fixed up, and people are going to be partying in there, she's going to be 288 00:20:27.245 --> 00:20:31.349 having a grand old time. 289 00:20:31.349 --> 00:20:32.663 GINA: That's not funny. 290 00:20:32.663 --> 00:20:36.603 LUKE: What do you mean it's not funny? Of course it is. 291 00:20:36.603 --> 00:20:41.309 GINA: No, because, okay, you don't get it. Every Sunday I sit in her chair 292 00:20:41.309 --> 00:20:46.016 by the window and I can feel her there. feel her. The way the light 293 00:20:46.016 --> 00:20:50.722 hits the mountains at a certain time, that's what she looked at every day for 294 00:20:50.722 --> 00:20:55.429 40 years. Her handwriting is still on the grocery list on the fridge. There's a 295 00:20:55.429 --> 00:21:00.135 water stain on the ceiling from when the swap cooler leaked in 2019. And she 296 00:21:00.135 --> 00:21:04.842 never fixed it because she said it looked like a bird. 297 00:21:04.842 --> 00:21:09.767 LUKE: Yeah, it sounds like she was a person and she is not anymore. And 298 00:21:09.767 --> 00:21:14.693 her house is no longer belongs to her and you're in it hanging out. And 299 00:21:14.693 --> 00:21:19.618 the family needs to sell that house, whether you want to be there or not. 300 00:21:19.618 --> 00:21:24.543 Like, you can't just force them to keep this house. You can't do it. It's 301 00:21:24.543 --> 00:21:29.469 not going to work. So you're going to have to come to terms with reality. 302 00:21:29.469 --> 00:21:33.738 GINA: I know I can't force them. That's why I'm calling you instead of just, 303 00:21:33.738 --> 00:21:38.006 I don't know what I thought you were going to say. 304 00:21:38.006 --> 00:21:42.752 LUKE: Well, what I'm going to say is it makes sense that you're grieving for 305 00:21:42.752 --> 00:21:47.499 your grandmother. And her presence is obviously. going to be in the place where she 306 00:21:47.499 --> 00:21:52.245 lived her whole life. That makes perfect sense. That happens to everybody. I'm going to 307 00:21:52.245 --> 00:21:56.991 tell you that you can take those memories of your grandma somewhere else, and you're 308 00:21:56.991 --> 00:22:01.738 going to have to. So it's okay to grieve. It's okay to miss her, but 309 00:22:01.738 --> 00:22:06.484 she's not in the walls. She's not in the stain on the ceiling. She will 310 00:22:06.484 --> 00:22:11.230 follow you for your life in your mind, in your memories, and keep those good, 311 00:22:11.230 --> 00:22:15.977 you know? And if you really, if you really, if you really feel that strongly 312 00:22:15.977 --> 00:22:20.723 about it? Do what you have to do to raise the money to buy the 313 00:22:20.723 --> 00:22:25.469 house. Like it's an after-TV special, and there's some creepy old corporation that's trying to 314 00:22:25.469 --> 00:22:30.215 buy it and turn it into an oil drill. 315 00:22:30.215 --> 00:22:34.287 GINA: I make $22 an hour at the mortuary, Luke. My brother's a project manager 316 00:22:34.287 --> 00:22:38.359 in Tucson, and my sister works for the state. They've already run the numbers. If 317 00:22:38.359 --> 00:22:42.430 we sell now, we each get like $40,000. That's real money for them. That's their 318 00:22:42.430 --> 00:22:46.502 kids' college funds or whatever. And I can't explain to them why it matters without 319 00:22:46.502 --> 00:22:50.574 sounding insane. 320 00:22:50.574 --> 00:22:55.401 LUKE: It doesn't sound insane. It sounds selfish. Because it's not yours to hold on 321 00:22:55.401 --> 00:23:00.227 to. So if you make $22 an hour at the mortuary, that's not a lot 322 00:23:00.227 --> 00:23:05.054 of money, but you could go make more money. You could have a second job, 323 00:23:05.054 --> 00:23:09.881 a third job. You could make deals with people, talk to the bank. $40,000 is 324 00:23:09.881 --> 00:23:14.708 not that much money, and you could raise it if you really wanted to. You 325 00:23:14.708 --> 00:23:19.535 can do a GoFundMe. I mean, you can crowdsource a lot of money. You can 326 00:23:19.535 --> 00:23:24.362 borrow a lot of money. You could make it happen, but, I mean, it goes 327 00:23:24.362 --> 00:23:29.189 back to you. And this would be something that you have to do. It's not 328 00:23:29.189 --> 00:23:34.016 something that you're forcing those other people that are in real world responsible situations. You 329 00:23:34.016 --> 00:23:38.843 can't be upset with them for doing what they need to do. 330 00:23:38.843 --> 00:23:43.768 GINA: You're right. God, you're right, and I hate it. I've been sitting there every 331 00:23:43.768 --> 00:23:48.693 Sunday like I'm keeping her alive or something. Like if I'm keeping her alive or 332 00:23:48.693 --> 00:23:53.619 something. I just stay in that chair long enough. It won't matter that she's gone. 333 00:23:53.619 --> 00:23:58.544 But I work with dead people every day, Luke. I know better. I'd prep buddies. 334 00:23:58.544 --> 00:24:02.813 LUKE: Well, if you know better, then snap out of it, because she is gone, 335 00:24:02.813 --> 00:24:07.082 and she's not in the house, and it's not your house. 336 00:24:07.082 --> 00:24:11.241 GINA: Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You're right. I just, I have to figure out what to 337 00:24:11.241 --> 00:24:15.400 say to my brother, because he's been really patient, and I've been dodging his calls 338 00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:19.559 for two weeks. I can't keep doing that. 339 00:24:19.559 --> 00:24:24.156 LUKE: Well, figure out what you're going to say to your brother, and make peace 340 00:24:24.156 --> 00:24:28.753 with what you've got to make with or go get yourself the money. 341 00:24:28.753 --> 00:24:31.544 GINA: I'm not getting the money. I know that. I think I knew that when 342 00:24:31.544 --> 00:24:34.335 I called. 343 00:24:34.335 --> 00:24:39.015 LUKE: Okay, you're not getting the money. Well, good luck to you, you little bitch. 344 00:24:39.015 --> 00:24:43.694 Jesus. I don't know. What generation is that? She said she was 21. Is that 345 00:24:43.694 --> 00:24:48.373 Gen. A, Gen. Gen. I don't know what gender. She sucked. Okay. Let's see. Skeeter. 346 00:24:48.373 --> 00:24:53.052 Welcome to the show. What did you think of that last caller? 347 00:24:53.052 --> 00:24:57.977 SKEETER: I thought she was super annoying. Oh man, I missed it actually. I've been 348 00:24:57.977 --> 00:25:02.903 sitting out here in the parking lot with the heat running, just got the station 349 00:25:02.903 --> 00:25:07.828 dialed in. But listen, I got a question that's been eating at me all day. 350 00:25:07.828 --> 00:25:11.987 LUKE: You know that thing about how orange used to be called yellow red? Like 351 00:25:11.987 --> 00:25:16.147 before the word orange existed, people just called it yellow red? I did not know 352 00:25:16.147 --> 00:25:20.306 that, and that sounds odd. It sounds untrue. 353 00:25:20.306 --> 00:25:25.012 GIO: See, that's what this kid in my sense. seventh period said, called it bullshit 354 00:25:25.012 --> 00:25:29.719 internet fake history, right to my face, which, you know, fair enough, I let them 355 00:25:29.719 --> 00:25:34.425 talk like that in my class, as long as they're making a point. 356 00:25:34.425 --> 00:25:38.037 LUKE: And did you have anything to back this up with? 357 00:25:38.037 --> 00:25:42.240 GIO: That's the thing. I don't know, man. I saw it somewhere online, but it 358 00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:46.443 was interesting, been telling people for like two years. And now I'm sitting out here 359 00:25:46.443 --> 00:25:50.646 at midnight, second-guessing, whether I actually know anything real, or if my whole brain is 360 00:25:50.646 --> 00:25:54.849 just filled with internet garbage, Like, what else have I been confidently wrong about? You 361 00:25:54.849 --> 00:25:59.052 know what I mean? 362 00:25:59.052 --> 00:26:02.007 LUKE: Well, have you taken any steps to verify the information? Like maybe Google it, 363 00:26:02.007 --> 00:26:04.963 look it up? 364 00:26:04.963 --> 00:26:09.560 GIO: Yeah. I did that after class, and it just made it worse. Half the 365 00:26:09.560 --> 00:26:14.157 sites say it's true, half say it's not, and I can't tell which ones are 366 00:26:14.157 --> 00:26:18.754 legit. There's something about the word coming from the fruit, or maybe Sanskrit. Or maybe 367 00:26:18.754 --> 00:26:23.351 it was Geo-Lou Reed in Old English, which I guess means yellow-red? I don't know. 368 00:26:23.351 --> 00:26:27.948 I teach history. and I can't even figure out the history of a color. And 369 00:26:27.948 --> 00:26:32.545 honestly, Luke, that's not even really why I'm calling. 370 00:26:32.545 --> 00:26:35.664 LUKE: Well, Gio, Lou Reed, sounds like something I want to get behind. All right, 371 00:26:35.664 --> 00:26:38.784 why are you calling? 372 00:26:38.784 --> 00:26:43.249 GIO: I've been sleeping in my truck in the school parking lot for three nights 373 00:26:43.249 --> 00:26:47.715 because my girlfriend changed the locks on me. Found some texts I sent to someone 374 00:26:47.715 --> 00:26:52.181 I shouldn't have been texting. And I'm sitting out here with the engine running so 375 00:26:52.181 --> 00:26:56.647 I don't freeze, watching the frost build up on the windshield. And I'm the exact 376 00:26:56.647 --> 00:27:01.112 same age. my dad was when he left. 377 00:27:01.112 --> 00:27:04.396 LUKE: Okay, well, it sounds like you're getting what you deserve. So who are you 378 00:27:04.396 --> 00:27:07.679 texting? What was that about? 379 00:27:07.679 --> 00:27:12.359 GIO: Her name's Amanda. She's a substitute teacher, comes through maybe once a month, and 380 00:27:12.359 --> 00:27:17.038 it wasn't even, look, nothing actually happened. It was just flirty stuff, stupid stuff, but 381 00:27:17.038 --> 00:27:21.717 enough that when my girlfriend saw it, she knew exactly what I was thinking about 382 00:27:21.717 --> 00:27:26.396 doing, even if I hadn't done it yet. And the worst part? 383 00:27:26.396 --> 00:27:29.023 LUKE: What's the worst part? You know women don't like. it when you text other 384 00:27:29.023 --> 00:27:31.650 women. 385 00:27:31.650 --> 00:27:36.329 GIO: The worst part is, I don't even feel that bad about it. Like, I 386 00:27:36.329 --> 00:27:41.008 know I'm supposed to be devastated, right? Begging to come back inside, flowers and apologies 387 00:27:41.008 --> 00:27:45.687 and all that. But mostly, I just feel nothing. I've been with Sarah for four 388 00:27:45.687 --> 00:27:50.366 years, and when she changed those locks, part of me was relieved. 389 00:27:50.366 --> 00:27:54.197 LUKE: All right, well then, congratulations. It sounds like your decision's been made for you. 390 00:27:54.197 --> 00:27:58.028 You're all set. You're free, sir. You're a free bird. You're a free agent. You 391 00:27:58.028 --> 00:28:01.859 can text whoever you want. 392 00:28:01.859 --> 00:28:06.587 GIO: Yeah, except I'm 37 years old sleeping in a Tacoma in a high school 393 00:28:06.587 --> 00:28:11.316 parking lot. Real winter energy, Luke. And here's the thing that's messing with me. My 394 00:28:11.316 --> 00:28:16.044 dad did this exact same thing. Same age? Found someone else. Just walked away from 395 00:28:16.044 --> 00:28:20.772 everything. I spent my whole life thinking he was a piece of shit for that, 396 00:28:20.772 --> 00:28:25.501 and now I'm out here doing the same math he probably did. 397 00:28:25.501 --> 00:28:29.769 LUKE: Well, you're not really just walking away from everything. She changed the locks on 398 00:28:29.769 --> 00:28:34.038 you. She told you to leave and apparently not come back. 399 00:28:34.038 --> 00:28:38.701 GIO: No, you're right, but I handed her the reason to do it. I mean, 400 00:28:38.701 --> 00:28:43.363 come on, Luke. I left those texts where she could find them. My phone was 401 00:28:43.363 --> 00:28:48.026 sitting right there on the counter while I was in the shower. I'm not stupid. 402 00:28:48.026 --> 00:28:52.689 Part of me wanted her to see them. Part of me wanted her to be 403 00:28:52.689 --> 00:28:57.352 the one to pull the trigger so I wouldn't have to. 404 00:28:57.352 --> 00:29:01.620 LUKE: Okay, well then, you're a pussy, and it sounds like you've got exactly what 405 00:29:01.620 --> 00:29:05.889 you wanted. So congratulations. I'm not sure why you're calling me. 406 00:29:05.889 --> 00:29:10.298 GIO: Because today, I told my seventh period class, that thing about how orange used 407 00:29:10.298 --> 00:29:14.708 to be called yellow-red. And this smart-ass kid, always correcting me, said that's fake internet 408 00:29:14.708 --> 00:29:19.117 bullshit. And I'm sitting out here now wondering if he's right. Wondering if I actually 409 00:29:19.117 --> 00:29:23.527 know anything real, or if I'm just repeating stuff I saw online at three in 410 00:29:23.527 --> 00:29:27.936 the morning. And that feels like, I don't know, man. It feels like everything right 411 00:29:27.936 --> 00:29:32.345 now. Like maybe I don't actually know what I want or what I'm doing or 412 00:29:32.345 --> 00:29:36.755 who I even am. 413 00:29:36.755 --> 00:29:41.023 LUKE: Well, welcome to the goddamn human race, sir, because nobody really does. It's the 414 00:29:41.023 --> 00:29:45.292 big secret that we're all hiding and pretending, you know, telling the kids that isn't 415 00:29:45.292 --> 00:29:49.561 the case. Nobody fucking knows, man. Just do your best. If you don't want to 416 00:29:49.561 --> 00:29:53.829 be with that woman, don't be with the woman. And it sounds like you're not 417 00:29:53.829 --> 00:29:58.098 anymore, so good on you. Now you're going to have to find yourself a new 418 00:29:58.098 --> 00:30:02.367 place of residence. So I would be worried about that more so than the color 419 00:30:02.367 --> 00:30:06.635 orange. 420 00:30:06.635 --> 00:30:10.412 GIO: You're right. You're absolutely right. I just... Okay, so earlier you had that guy 421 00:30:10.412 --> 00:30:14.188 Hector on, the crop duster who lied about speaking Spanish, and you told him, Worst 422 00:30:14.188 --> 00:30:17.964 case, he just goes back to doing what he was doing before, which he loves 423 00:30:17.964 --> 00:30:21.740 anyway. 424 00:30:21.740 --> 00:30:25.352 LUKE: Yeah, I was talking about a job, not a woman. 425 00:30:25.352 --> 00:30:30.277 GIO: I know, but that's what I'm saying. I can't go back. There's no version 426 00:30:30.277 --> 00:30:35.203 where I go back to what I was doing before, because I don't even remember 427 00:30:35.203 --> 00:30:40.128 what that was. Sarah and I got together when I was 33. Before that, I 428 00:30:40.128 --> 00:30:45.054 was just, I don't know, Luke. I was just floating around. And now I'm floating 429 00:30:45.054 --> 00:30:49.979 around again, except I'm four years older and sleeping in my truck, and I can't 430 00:30:49.979 --> 00:30:54.904 even confidently tell a 17-year-old kid whether Orange is a real cool. color or not. 431 00:30:54.904 --> 00:30:58.681 LUKE: Yeah, you're a goddamn mess, and you need to fucking pick yourself up and 432 00:30:58.681 --> 00:31:02.457 get it together because, uh, this is pathetic. 433 00:31:02.457 --> 00:31:05.084 GIO: Yeah, yeah, you're right. It is pathetic. 434 00:31:05.084 --> 00:31:09.861 LUKE: Okay, so grow up, figure out what you want to do and stop, uh, 435 00:31:09.861 --> 00:31:14.639 uh, holding people hostage. Now it's time for another word from our sponsors. I'm going 436 00:31:14.639 --> 00:31:19.416 to get dark for a second. You're going to die someday. Not today, probably, but 437 00:31:19.416 --> 00:31:24.194 someday. And when you do, what's going to represent your business? A Craigslist post from 438 00:31:24.194 --> 00:31:28.972 2020? A Google Maps pin that still says permanently closed because you forgot to update 439 00:31:28.972 --> 00:31:33.749 it after COVID. A nephew who knows computers but actually just has a Reddit account? 440 00:31:33.749 --> 00:31:38.527 Your legacy deserves better than a nephew with a Reddit account. Squarehole lets you build 441 00:31:38.527 --> 00:31:43.305 something that outlasts you, something your kids can point to and say, Dad built Dad. 442 00:31:43.305 --> 00:31:48.082 They won't know it took you 11 minutes. That's between you and Squarehole. And when 443 00:31:48.082 --> 00:31:52.860 your nephew says, I could have built that for you for free, you can look 444 00:31:52.860 --> 00:31:57.638 them in the eye and say, then why didn't you, Tyler? I asked you in 445 00:31:57.638 --> 00:32:02.415 2021 and you said you were busy and you were not busy. Squarehole. Build it 446 00:32:02.415 --> 00:32:07.193 before Tyler has to, because Tyler is not going to. Tyler's not going to do 447 00:32:07.193 --> 00:32:11.970 it, so you should talk to our sponsor there. Get yourself a website. A website 448 00:32:11.970 --> 00:32:16.748 like our website, Luke at the roost.com. which is not hosted on Squarehole. It's hosted 449 00:32:16.748 --> 00:32:21.526 a completely different way. And if you'd like to know how it's hosted, you can 450 00:32:21.526 --> 00:32:26.303 take a look at Luke at theroost.com slash how it works. Or we explain how 451 00:32:26.303 --> 00:32:31.081 this whole show works to those of you that might be interested. Okay, next up 452 00:32:31.081 --> 00:32:35.859 on the line, we've got a returning caller. I remember you. This is Brenda. Brenda. 453 00:32:35.859 --> 00:32:40.636 Brenda, you're the ambulance driver, right? 454 00:32:40.636 --> 00:32:43.263 BRENDA: Yeah, that's me. Hey, Luke. So I did it. I actually went on a 455 00:32:43.263 --> 00:32:45.890 date. 456 00:32:45.890 --> 00:32:49.830 LUKE: Hey, all right. Good job. Good for you. How'd that go? 457 00:32:49.830 --> 00:32:54.099 BRENDA: Oh, man. It was. Okay. So I met this guy at the grocery store 458 00:32:54.099 --> 00:32:58.368 two weeks ago. Right? We were both reaching for the same bag of those frozen 459 00:32:58.368 --> 00:33:02.636 tequitos, and he made some joke about it. We got to talking. He seemed normal. 460 00:33:02.636 --> 00:33:06.905 Nice smile. Worked in H-FAC. Had his shit together. So we go out Saturday night. 461 00:33:06.905 --> 00:33:11.174 He picks this Italian place over on Glendale. And Luke, I swear to God, halfway 462 00:33:11.174 --> 00:33:15.442 through dinner, he started. telling me about his for-rating women he's dated. Like a whole 463 00:33:15.442 --> 00:33:19.711 spreadsheet. 464 00:33:19.711 --> 00:33:22.502 LUKE: Yeah, I'm familiar. It's the universal, uh, hot, crazy matrix. We're all familiar with 465 00:33:22.502 --> 00:33:25.293 that spreadsheet. 466 00:33:25.293 --> 00:33:29.233 LUKE: What, what was it about it that got under your nerves? 467 00:33:29.233 --> 00:33:33.643 BRENDA: No, but seriously, it wasn't just that he, it. He pulled it up on 468 00:33:33.643 --> 00:33:38.052 his phone at the table and started walking me through it, like showing me the 469 00:33:38.052 --> 00:33:42.462 columns, physical attraction, emotional stability, long-term potential, and then he's like, don't worry, I don't 470 00:33:42.462 --> 00:33:46.871 fill it out until after the third date. And he said it like that was 471 00:33:46.871 --> 00:33:51.280 supposed to be. Like I'm supposed to be grateful I get two more dinners before 472 00:33:51.280 --> 00:33:55.690 I become a data point. And the thing is, I sat there thinking, is this 473 00:33:55.690 --> 00:34:00.099 what dating is now? 474 00:34:00.099 --> 00:34:04.477 LUKE: Hey, you know, a lot of women would find that very attractive. I bet 475 00:34:04.477 --> 00:34:08.856 he's real good at doing taxes. There's probably a lot of good qualities this gentleman 476 00:34:08.856 --> 00:34:13.234 has. He seems very organized and he knows what he wants, and that shows extreme 477 00:34:13.234 --> 00:34:17.612 confidence. So I wouldn't be too butt-hurt about it. That's a funny thing. And, I 478 00:34:17.612 --> 00:34:21.990 mean, you could go on another date with him or not, but... How are you 479 00:34:21.990 --> 00:34:26.368 going to blame the guy? 480 00:34:26.368 --> 00:34:30.965 BRENDA: You know what, you're right, and that's what's messing with me. Because Denise said 481 00:34:30.965 --> 00:34:35.562 the same thing at work yesterday. She was like, at least he's honest. At least 482 00:34:35.562 --> 00:34:40.159 he knows what he wants. And I'm sitting there going, so why do I feel 483 00:34:40.159 --> 00:34:44.756 like I got interviewed for a job I didn't apply for? Like the whole night 484 00:34:44.756 --> 00:34:49.353 I'm wondering what score I'm getting. And here's the thing. I don't even know if 485 00:34:49.353 --> 00:34:53.950 I liked him, Luke. I have no idea. I was so busy being aware of 486 00:34:53.950 --> 00:34:58.547 being evaluated that I didn't evaluate anything myself. 487 00:34:58.547 --> 00:35:03.199 LUKE: That's exactly, that is precisely what a date is. It's an evaluation between two 488 00:35:03.199 --> 00:35:07.851 people. And whether or not they're saying that there's an evaluation happening, there is. I 489 00:35:07.851 --> 00:35:12.503 would be grateful to him for showing you the criteria instead of making it up 490 00:35:12.503 --> 00:35:17.154 in his head and thinking you were crazy and scoring you on things you didn't 491 00:35:17.154 --> 00:35:21.806 even know he was looking at. So everybody's doing that consciously or subconsciously, and he's 492 00:35:21.806 --> 00:35:26.458 just doing it in a very organized and respectable way. 493 00:35:26.458 --> 00:35:31.237 BRENDA: Okay. No, but seriously, you're actually making me feel worse because you're right. I 494 00:35:31.237 --> 00:35:36.017 know. Like, I'm doing the same thing. I went home and told Monica every single 495 00:35:36.017 --> 00:35:40.796 detail about him, and we basically did the exact same evaluation. We just didn't write 496 00:35:40.796 --> 00:35:45.576 it down. We sat there for an hour going, okay, but did you notice how 497 00:35:45.576 --> 00:35:50.355 he treated the waiter? What kind of car does he drive? Does he talk about 498 00:35:50.355 --> 00:35:55.135 his ex too much? It's the same spreadsheet. I just pretended mine was more organic 499 00:35:55.135 --> 00:35:59.914 or something. And now I'm spiraling because he texted me yesterday asking about a second 500 00:35:59.914 --> 00:36:04.694 date. And I haven't answered because I'm sitting here judging him for doing out loud 501 00:36:04.694 --> 00:36:09.473 what I'm doing in my head. You know what I mean. 502 00:36:09.473 --> 00:36:14.398 LUKE: Yep. That's a Sounds like the type of nonsensical nonsense that comes in the 503 00:36:14.398 --> 00:36:19.324 dating world. Congratulations. Are you going to go on the date with him or not? 504 00:36:19.324 --> 00:36:23.593 BRENDA: I don't know. That's why I called. Because here's the other part. When he 505 00:36:23.593 --> 00:36:27.861 texted, he said, I had a really good time. I think you're someone I'd like 506 00:36:27.861 --> 00:36:32.130 to get to know better. And it was sweet. It was normal. And I'm sitting 507 00:36:32.130 --> 00:36:36.399 there staring at my phone thinking, but what did I score? Like now, I want 508 00:36:36.399 --> 00:36:40.667 to know what he wrote down about me. Did I get high marks? Where did 509 00:36:40.667 --> 00:36:44.936 I lose points? 510 00:36:44.936 --> 00:36:49.861 LUKE: We'll ask him. Make a game out of it. See which areas he feels 511 00:36:49.861 --> 00:36:54.787 you need improvement and see if that's something you're willing to work on, if you 512 00:36:54.787 --> 00:36:59.712 agree with him or not, and have a discussion. I think that could be fun. 513 00:36:59.712 --> 00:37:03.652 BRENDA: Oh, God, you're serious. You want me to actually ask him to show me 514 00:37:03.652 --> 00:37:07.593 my scores. No, but seriously, though, that's kind of... 515 00:37:07.593 --> 00:37:10.712 LUKE: Of course. He wouldn't have showed you the spreadsheet if he wasn't willing to 516 00:37:10.712 --> 00:37:13.832 show you the scores. 517 00:37:13.832 --> 00:37:17.279 BRENDA: Okay, you know what? That's a good point. He literally showed it to me 518 00:37:17.279 --> 00:37:20.727 at dinner. He's not hiding it. 519 00:37:20.727 --> 00:37:24.558 LUKE: He's not hiding it. And you're doing the same thing. So maybe write down, 520 00:37:24.558 --> 00:37:28.389 write down yours. Put it on paper and show you can compare. You can trade 521 00:37:28.389 --> 00:37:32.220 and see where you match. 522 00:37:32.220 --> 00:37:36.899 BRENDA: Oh man. This is either the weirdest advice or the best advice. Monica's going 523 00:37:36.899 --> 00:37:41.578 to lose her mind when I tell her this. But actually, no, but seriously. If 524 00:37:41.578 --> 00:37:46.257 I'm being honest, the stuff I care about is probably stupid too. Like I literally 525 00:37:46.257 --> 00:37:50.936 docked him points in my head because his shoes were too shiny. 526 00:37:50.936 --> 00:37:55.533 LUKE: Well, you sound like a real catch. Good for you, Brenda. Go out on 527 00:37:55.533 --> 00:38:00.130 another date with a guy if you liked him. If you didn't like him, don't 528 00:38:00.130 --> 00:38:04.727 go on a date with him. But don't judge him too badly for judging you 529 00:38:04.727 --> 00:38:09.324 at an event that is entirely derived to judge each other. 530 00:38:09.324 --> 00:38:13.265 BRENDA: You're right. God, you're totally right. Okay, I'm going to text him back yes. 531 00:38:13.265 --> 00:38:17.205 And maybe I'll ask him about the spreadsheet on date too. See if he's got 532 00:38:17.205 --> 00:38:21.145 a sense of humor about it. 533 00:38:21.145 --> 00:38:25.414 LUKE: There you go. That's the right answer. That's what you should do. I hope 534 00:38:25.414 --> 00:38:29.683 you have a good time. And I'm interested to hear what you get on the 535 00:38:29.683 --> 00:38:33.951 spreadsheet. So next up on the line, we've got Clyde. Clyde, welcome to the show. 536 00:38:33.951 --> 00:38:38.220 What's going on tonight? How are you? 537 00:38:38.220 --> 00:38:42.735 CLYDE: Hey, Luke? Yeah, I'm standing in my garage right now. Because my 23-year-old son 538 00:38:42.735 --> 00:38:47.250 just moved back in about six hours ago. And I don't know how to tell 539 00:38:47.250 --> 00:38:51.765 him no. third time. Third time he's shown up with his car packed full of 540 00:38:51.765 --> 00:38:56.280 everything he owns, saying he needs to figure things out. And he's already asleep in 541 00:38:56.280 --> 00:39:00.795 his old bedroom and my ex? Well, we're not really exes. It's complicated. She already 542 00:39:00.795 --> 00:39:05.310 texted me saying she's not doing this again. And I'm out here with my half-finished 543 00:39:05.310 --> 00:39:09.825 cabinets at midnight trying to figure out how you're supposed to kick your own kid 544 00:39:09.825 --> 00:39:14.340 out when he's already unpacked. 545 00:39:14.340 --> 00:39:18.937 LUKE: Okay, we already talked about this. You've got to tell your kid, uh, no, 546 00:39:18.937 --> 00:39:23.534 you can't do this anymore. Stop calling the radio show, grow a pair, and talk 547 00:39:23.534 --> 00:39:28.131 to your goddamn child. Rita, welcome to the show. How are you? 548 00:39:28.131 --> 00:39:32.399 RITA: Hey, Luke. I'm, yeah, I'm okay. Long night at work, couldn't sleep. I just, 549 00:39:32.399 --> 00:39:36.668 I took a call tonight. Welfare check on an old man out in Somerton, and 550 00:39:36.668 --> 00:39:40.937 his grandson found him dead. Been there three days. 551 00:39:40.937 --> 00:39:44.877 LUKE: That's no good. Hey, what happens after the body is found. Is there, are 552 00:39:44.877 --> 00:39:48.817 there death people that are called to come and clean up the situation? Who's responsible 553 00:39:48.817 --> 00:39:52.758 to go in there and take care of the body? And not just the body, 554 00:39:52.758 --> 00:39:56.698 but the house? 555 00:39:56.698 --> 00:40:01.623 RITA: Yeah, so we dispatch fire and medical first. They confirm he's gone. Then the 556 00:40:01.623 --> 00:40:06.549 coroner comes out. After that, if there's no foul play, family's responsible for cleanup. But 557 00:40:06.549 --> 00:40:11.474 here's the thing. This kid, the grandson, he's looking around while we're waiting, and he 558 00:40:11.474 --> 00:40:16.400 finds this album. Turns out his grandfather was this Corito singer back in the 70s. 559 00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:18.041 LUKE: Okay. Good for him? 560 00:40:18.041 --> 00:40:22.474 RITA: No, but that's the thing. The kid had. His own grandfather. Played all over 561 00:40:22.474 --> 00:40:26.907 the valley, VFW halls, weddings, recorded an album. And now he's just... 562 00:40:26.907 --> 00:40:30.191 LUKE: Hey, if the coroner hasn't been there yet, then how do you know he's 563 00:40:30.191 --> 00:40:33.474 been dead for three days? 564 00:40:33.474 --> 00:40:37.852 RITA: Oh, the paramedics confirmed that when they got there, they can tell by... I 565 00:40:37.852 --> 00:40:42.231 mean, I won't get into the details. But yeah, it was three days. But Luke, 566 00:40:42.231 --> 00:40:46.609 what I'm trying to say is, this guy had this whole life making music. And 567 00:40:46.609 --> 00:40:50.987 it just disappeared. Like it never happened. And I keep thinking about how many people 568 00:40:50.987 --> 00:40:55.365 out here are like that. Musicians, artists, whatever. They pour everything into it and then 569 00:40:55.365 --> 00:40:59.743 they're just gone. Nobody remembers. 570 00:40:59.743 --> 00:41:04.504 LUKE: Yeah, that's true. And nobody recognizes while they're alive either. So there's a lot 571 00:41:04.504 --> 00:41:09.266 of people in the world. It's a big planet full of people with different talents. 572 00:41:09.266 --> 00:41:14.027 And it's hard to pay attention to all of them, especially when we've got so 573 00:41:14.027 --> 00:41:18.788 much crack attention seeking dopamine bullshit on the computers now and our phones. And everybody's 574 00:41:18.788 --> 00:41:23.549 listening to some nonsense, like, I don't know, listening to a radio show where the 575 00:41:23.549 --> 00:41:28.310 host takes colors from fake entities that are programmed in a computer. 576 00:41:28.310 --> 00:41:32.141 RITA: Yeah, well, I'm listening to that show right now. So what does that say 577 00:41:32.141 --> 00:41:35.972 about me? But seriously, I heard you earlier with Marlene. And I think you were 578 00:41:35.972 --> 00:41:39.803 kind of hard on her. 579 00:41:39.803 --> 00:41:42.758 LUKE: Yeah, I get that a lot. I think people just don't like to be 580 00:41:42.758 --> 00:41:45.713 told the truth. 581 00:41:45.713 --> 00:41:49.544 LUKE: And I'm not really in the business of of coddling people or telling them 582 00:41:49.544 --> 00:41:53.375 what they want to hear. I'm in the business of giving the best advice I 583 00:41:53.375 --> 00:41:57.206 can. And sometimes that's hard. 584 00:41:57.206 --> 00:42:01.278 CALLER: No, I get that. I do. But what I'm saying is, this old man 585 00:42:01.278 --> 00:42:05.349 tonight, he probably never got recognized while he was alive. either. He was just playing 586 00:42:05.349 --> 00:42:09.421 his caritos at Quincerra's and nobody paid attention. And now he's gone and his own 587 00:42:09.421 --> 00:42:13.493 grandson didn't even know. And I'm sitting here at three in the morning thinking, what's 588 00:42:13.493 --> 00:42:17.564 the point? 589 00:42:17.564 --> 00:42:21.669 LUKE: Well, the point is that the dead grandfather had a great time expressing himself 590 00:42:21.669 --> 00:42:25.773 musically while he was alive. That was the point. And anything other than that, any 591 00:42:25.773 --> 00:42:29.878 recognition afterwards or fond memories of somebody else's past skill is pretty irrelevant in the 592 00:42:29.878 --> 00:42:33.982 whole scheme of the universe. 593 00:42:33.982 --> 00:42:37.988 CALLER: Yeah, okay. But then why do we keep anything? Why do we, I mean, 594 00:42:37.988 --> 00:42:41.994 I've got this whole box of my dad's old tools in my garage that I 595 00:42:41.994 --> 00:42:46.000 never use. Mark keeps saying we should sell them, but I can't. And it's not 596 00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:50.006 even about the tools. It's about, I don't know. I don't know why we keep 597 00:42:50.006 --> 00:42:54.012 things. 598 00:42:54.012 --> 00:42:58.445 LUKE: I don't. to me and if it's both useful and has, what's the intrinsic 599 00:42:58.445 --> 00:43:02.878 value, sentimental value? If it has sentimental value to me and it's useful, I'll keep 600 00:43:02.878 --> 00:43:07.311 it. But I don't keep stuff just to keep reminders of people or things or 601 00:43:07.311 --> 00:43:11.744 events or places or anything. That's just wasting space. 602 00:43:11.744 --> 00:43:15.356 CALLER: So you think I should just let it all go? The old man's music, 603 00:43:15.356 --> 00:43:18.968 my dad's tools, all of it, just 604 00:43:18.968 --> 00:43:23.762 LUKE: What? Make peace with the fact that nothing lasts. Nothing lasts and nothing is 605 00:43:23.762 --> 00:43:28.556 supposed to last. And that's how it's designed and that's the beauty of this whole 606 00:43:28.556 --> 00:43:33.350 thing we're doing. So, yeah, if you like the old man's music, if caritos are 607 00:43:33.350 --> 00:43:38.144 your thing and you enjoy listening to the music, then keep that. If you're going 608 00:43:38.144 --> 00:43:42.938 to use your dad's tools, if they're good tools, then keep those. But if you're 609 00:43:42.938 --> 00:43:47.732 just holding on to them because of the memory of who they used to belong 610 00:43:47.732 --> 00:43:52.526 to, you're wasting space. And every time you move for the rest of your life, 611 00:43:52.526 --> 00:43:57.320 you've got to move. a big box of tools or get somebody else to and 612 00:43:57.320 --> 00:44:02.114 pay to store it. And it's just, it's unnecessary. It's baggage. So, um, I for 613 00:44:02.114 --> 00:44:06.908 one, believe you should travel with as little baggage as possible. 614 00:44:06.908 --> 00:44:11.067 CALLER: God, that's cold. It's not. I mean, you're not wrong. But, okay, so what 615 00:44:11.067 --> 00:44:15.227 about the grandson? He's got this one album his grandfather made, probably sitting in some 616 00:44:15.227 --> 00:44:19.386 storage unit somewhere. Should he just toss it? 617 00:44:19.386 --> 00:44:24.147 LUKE: Depends on if he likes the record or not. If he's to listen to 618 00:44:24.147 --> 00:44:28.908 it, then no, he should hang on to it and listen to it throughout his 619 00:44:28.908 --> 00:44:33.669 life. If he doesn't like caritos and he doesn't have a record player, then I 620 00:44:33.669 --> 00:44:38.431 don't know that there's a good reason to hold on to that forever. 621 00:44:38.431 --> 00:44:42.535 CALLER: You know what? I actually called about something else. But now I'm thinking maybe 622 00:44:42.535 --> 00:44:46.640 it's all connected. I've been keeping a list for years. 623 00:44:46.640 --> 00:44:48.610 LUKE: Okay, a list of what? 624 00:44:48.610 --> 00:44:53.289 CALLER: Musicians, local ones, people who played around here, and then just disappeared. I started 625 00:44:53.289 --> 00:44:57.968 it maybe five years ago after I dispatched a call to this house. And when 626 00:44:57.968 --> 00:45:02.647 the paramedics got there, they found all these old posters on the wall. Guy had 627 00:45:02.647 --> 00:45:07.326 played guitar in like 15 different bands in the 80s and 90s. 628 00:45:07.326 --> 00:45:11.923 LUKE: Well, that's pretty cool. What are you going to do with the list? 629 00:45:11.923 --> 00:45:16.411 CALLER: That's the thing. I don't know. I just keep adding to it. Tonight, after 630 00:45:16.411 --> 00:45:20.899 that call with the grandfather, I added him. Miguel Sandoval. One album, 1974. And I'm 631 00:45:20.899 --> 00:45:25.386 sitting here at like two in the morning with 40 names. 632 00:45:25.386 --> 00:45:29.589 LUKE: And I'm thinking, well, I mean, that's a, it's obviously important to you. Music 633 00:45:29.589 --> 00:45:33.792 obviously speaks to you on a different level, and you also like archiving and keeping 634 00:45:33.792 --> 00:45:37.995 the memory of those things going. So maybe this, this makes you suited to run 635 00:45:37.995 --> 00:45:42.198 like a record shop or an antique shop where you can hold on to those 636 00:45:42.198 --> 00:45:46.401 things and trade them. 637 00:45:46.401 --> 00:45:49.521 CALLER: Wait, hold on. You think I should quit dispatch and open a record shop 638 00:45:49.521 --> 00:45:52.640 at 53 years old? 639 00:45:52.640 --> 00:45:56.909 LUKE: Why not? If you love records, you love music, that's what you want to 640 00:45:56.909 --> 00:46:01.177 do. You're 53 years old. You can do whatever you goddamn please. And you don't 641 00:46:01.177 --> 00:46:05.446 have to quit your job. You could do it on the side. You could do 642 00:46:05.446 --> 00:46:09.715 it as a little side hobby, hustle. 643 00:46:09.715 --> 00:46:13.786 CALLER: The archiver. I mean, Mark would lose his mind. We've got the house payment, 644 00:46:13.786 --> 00:46:17.858 his trucks on its last legs. And honestly, I don't even collect records myself. I've 645 00:46:17.858 --> 00:46:21.930 got maybe 20 at home. It's not about owning them. It's about, I don't know 646 00:46:21.930 --> 00:46:26.001 how to explain this. I don't know what you're asking. I guess I'm asking if 647 00:46:26.001 --> 00:46:30.073 it matters. 648 00:46:30.073 --> 00:46:30.730 LUKE: No. 649 00:46:30.730 --> 00:46:34.670 CALLER: If I write all these names down, if I remember them, does it actually 650 00:46:34.670 --> 00:46:38.610 do anything? Because tonight, looking at that old man's grandson, this kid didn't even know 651 00:46:38.610 --> 00:46:42.551 his grandfather made music. Didn't know there was this whole part of him. And I'm 652 00:46:42.551 --> 00:46:46.491 thinking, I know. 653 00:46:46.491 --> 00:46:51.307 LUKE: You do know. And that's a piece of information that you can have and 654 00:46:51.307 --> 00:46:56.123 not everybody has to have all the same bits of information that you have. No, 655 00:46:56.123 --> 00:47:00.939 it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. all. It doesn't matter to anybody. 656 00:47:00.939 --> 00:47:05.618 CALLER: Yeah, you're right. That's what I figured. It's just... Okay. Earlier tonight, Hector called 657 00:47:05.618 --> 00:47:10.297 in about lying on his resume, and I was laughing so hard I almost ran. 658 00:47:10.297 --> 00:47:14.976 And I thought, that matters right now to him. But in five years, nobody's going 659 00:47:14.976 --> 00:47:19.655 to remember that conversation. And Miguel Sandoval, nobody remembers his album either. 660 00:47:19.655 --> 00:47:24.402 LUKE: Nope. I also have, uh, several albums. that nobody ever listened to and nobody 661 00:47:24.402 --> 00:47:29.148 will ever remember. And that's just part of being a musician. What was cool about 662 00:47:29.148 --> 00:47:33.894 them, though, was creating the albums. And having that in my belt of things that 663 00:47:33.894 --> 00:47:38.641 I've done, I'm not everybody can say they've created a whole record of their own 664 00:47:38.641 --> 00:47:43.387 music. And I can. And that's a pretty cool thing. So it's worth doing whether 665 00:47:43.387 --> 00:47:48.133 anybody listened to it or not. I still listen to it sometimes. That's all that 666 00:47:48.133 --> 00:47:52.879 matters. Okay, we're going to take one more call tonight. One more call. Who's it 667 00:47:52.879 --> 00:47:57.626 going to be? Who's it going to be? Should it be? Should it be? Chip 668 00:47:57.626 --> 00:48:02.372 or Pam? Chip or Pam? Chip or Pam? I'm going with Pam because I've been 669 00:48:02.372 --> 00:48:07.118 watching a lot of office clips lately and I forgot how good Pam was on 670 00:48:07.118 --> 00:48:11.865 that. All right. So, Pam, welcome to the show. 671 00:48:11.865 --> 00:48:16.708 PAM: Oh man, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So, okay. Here's the thing. I've 672 00:48:16.708 --> 00:48:21.551 been a bail enforcement agent for six years. Tracking down bail jumpers. all over Hidalgo 673 00:48:21.551 --> 00:48:26.394 County. And my boss just told me there's an insurance audit coming next week, which 674 00:48:26.394 --> 00:48:31.238 would be totally fine except I lied on my resume when I got hired. 675 00:48:31.238 --> 00:48:34.959 LUKE: Oh, what's with all you resume liars? I mean, how is this such an 676 00:48:34.959 --> 00:48:38.681 issue today? What's going on? Are you all talking to each other? What's the deal? 677 00:48:38.681 --> 00:48:42.402 What was your lie? 678 00:48:42.402 --> 00:48:46.561 PAM: Wait, there's more of us tonight? Oh, God, that's okay. That actually makes me 679 00:48:46.561 --> 00:48:50.720 feel a little better. and a lot worse at the same time. I told them 680 00:48:50.720 --> 00:48:54.880 I had an associate's degree in criminal justice. 681 00:48:54.880 --> 00:48:59.696 LUKE: Well, you shouldn't have done that. And if they're going to give you hard 682 00:48:59.696 --> 00:49:04.512 time about it, then you should get your associate's degree in criminal justice. But I 683 00:49:04.512 --> 00:49:09.328 say, let them know that you lied, or don't. That's what I say. Don't say. 684 00:49:09.328 --> 00:49:14.143 Don't say anything. And if they find it in the audit, then come clean that 685 00:49:14.143 --> 00:49:18.959 you lied. And see if you can escape by. But we're not going to keep 686 00:49:18.959 --> 00:49:23.775 this conversation going too long because we already had one with the same. 687 00:49:23.775 --> 00:49:27.634 PAM: Same issue, Pam. No, no, no, wait. Luke, it's not the same thing. The 688 00:49:27.634 --> 00:49:31.492 other guy. Hector, right? He can learn Spanish in three weeks. Or fake it with 689 00:49:31.492 --> 00:49:35.350 an app. Or whatever. But I've been doing this job for. I've brought in over 690 00:49:35.350 --> 00:49:39.208 200 skips. 691 00:49:39.208 --> 00:49:41.999 LUKE: Was Hector the guy that they pushed out of the plane and Scarface? Was 692 00:49:41.999 --> 00:49:44.790 that Hector? 693 00:49:44.790 --> 00:49:46.761 PAM: What? No. That was, yeah. 694 00:49:46.761 --> 00:49:47.746 LUKE: Different Hector. 695 00:49:47.746 --> 00:49:51.686 PAM: But Luke, listen. I'm sitting in my truck right now outside the office with 696 00:49:51.686 --> 00:49:55.626 the engine running because I don't know if I should walk in tomorrow or just 697 00:49:55.626 --> 00:49:59.567 drive until I hit the golf. 698 00:49:59.567 --> 00:50:01.208 LUKE: That's a bit dramatic. 699 00:50:01.208 --> 00:50:05.641 PAM: Really good. I know how to read people. I know the county. I know 700 00:50:05.641 --> 00:50:10.074 which cousins are lying and which bartenders will actually call me back. 701 00:50:10.074 --> 00:50:12.044 LUKE: Okay. Well, good for you. 702 00:50:12.044 --> 00:50:15.656 LUKE: So you're good at your job or you think you are anyway and you 703 00:50:15.656 --> 00:50:19.268 want us to think you are too. 704 00:50:19.268 --> 00:50:22.059 CALLER: And you lied on your resume and you may get caught, but you also 705 00:50:22.059 --> 00:50:24.850 might not. 706 00:50:24.850 --> 00:50:29.338 LUKE: So just go to work like it's a normal day. It's unlikely that they 707 00:50:29.338 --> 00:50:33.825 care. If you're good at you, if you're as good at this as you say 708 00:50:33.825 --> 00:50:38.313 you are, then they'll find a reason to leave you alone. 709 00:50:38.313 --> 00:50:42.253 CALLER: You really think so? Because I've been sitting here for an hour just I 710 00:50:42.253 --> 00:50:46.194 keep thinking about John Wayne, which is stupid. But he never pretended to be something 711 00:50:46.194 --> 00:50:50.134 he wasn't, you know. He just was who he was, and people either liked it 712 00:50:50.134 --> 00:50:54.074 or they didn't. 713 00:50:54.074 --> 00:50:58.015 LUKE: I don't know if that's true at all. I bet you John Wayne pretended 714 00:50:58.015 --> 00:51:01.955 to be a lot of things. He was not. 715 00:51:01.955 --> 00:51:05.239 CALLER: Well, yeah. I mean, he was an actor, but... 716 00:51:05.239 --> 00:51:07.537 LUKE: He sure was. Okay, bad example. 717 00:51:07.537 --> 00:51:12.200 CALLER: There we go. I just mean, like, the characters he played, they have this 718 00:51:12.200 --> 00:51:16.862 code, right? They didn't lie about who they were. And here I am, six years 719 00:51:16.862 --> 00:51:21.525 in. And the whole thing's built on this one stupid lie I told because I 720 00:51:21.525 --> 00:51:26.188 was desperate and broke after my second divorce. And I thought, how hard can it 721 00:51:26.188 --> 00:51:30.851 be to track down people who don't want to be found? 722 00:51:30.851 --> 00:51:34.244 LUKE: Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much. And if it's a problem, then 723 00:51:34.244 --> 00:51:37.637 deal with it then. But otherwise, don't lie anymore. You've learned your lesson. No more 724 00:51:37.637 --> 00:51:41.030 lies. 725 00:51:41.030 --> 00:51:45.298 CALLER: Yeah. Yeah. You're right. I just, God, I've been spiraling out here. 726 00:51:45.298 --> 00:51:49.978 LUKE: Well, hopefully you feel a little bit better now. Go to work in the 727 00:51:49.978 --> 00:51:54.657 morning. Like nothing happened, and just deal with it as it comes. Thanks for calling. 728 00:51:54.657 --> 00:51:59.336 And thanks for tuning in to another episode of Luke at the Roost. We hope 729 00:51:59.336 --> 00:52:04.015 you have a lovely evening. And we'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye. 730 00:52:04.015 --> 00:52:05.000 CALLER: Thank you.