Episode 16: Tasting the Apocalypse

LUKE: Okay, welcome back to the show. It's Luke at the Roost. Tonight is Wednesday,

February 18th. It's 11.11 p.m. And we're in a windstorm here in the desert inanimate,

but that's not going to stop us. Little wind never stopped a good radio show.

That's what I always say. If you'd like to call into the show, our numbers

208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. and you'd like to participate, you can send us an email.

Our email address is submissions at lukeatsderoose.com. So, that all being said, I hope everybody's

having a good night out there tonight. We're going to get right to our show.

First up, on the show, we've got Chester. Chester's calling in. What's going on in

your life, Chester?

CHESTER: Luke, hey, so I just finished about an hour ago, and I'm sitting here

at work absolutely wrecked. And I got to ask you something about it, about this.

I work nights at the prison down in Donia Ana County, and I read the

last chunk of it during my rounds tonight. Father and son pushing a shopping cart

through literal apocalypse, right? And the father would die for this kid. Does die for

this kid, basically. And here's the thing. My girlfriend Sarah is up in Albuquerque, and

I drive three hours each way every other Friday to see her. Been doing it

for eight months. Okay, so where's the thing? canceled on me. Always some excuse. Works

crazy. My roommate needs me, whatever. And I'm sitting there in B Block at two

in the morning with tears in my eyes because Cormac McCarthy just destroyed me with

this father who'd walk through fire, and I'm thinking, I'm the one doing all the

walking here. She won't even meet me halfway in Socorro.

LUKE: Well, maybe she's not the right one, or she's not that interested in you,

or she's busy. Her life could be busy. You don't know. What's her life like?

Does she have other responsibilities she's got to take care of? Does she not have

the money to pay for the gas, maybe? There's a lot of reasons she might

not be able to meet you halfway. Are you talking about the road?

CHESTER: Yeah, the road. Sorry, should have said that up front. And look, she's a

manager at a brew pub, makes decent money, drives a newer Tacoma than mine, no

kids, no sick parents, nothing like that. I've asked her straight up, can we split

the drive sometimes? And she just says Albuquerque's better because there's more to do. All

her friends are there, which, fine. But then don't cancel on me four times because

your roommate's having boy problems where you picked up an extra shift you didn't have

to pick up. And here's what's eating at me. The father in the book, he's

got nothing.

LUKE: Well, it sounds like maybe she's not the right one for you or you're

not the right one for her. And if you're looking for more from her and

you're not getting it, then move on, that's all.

CHESTER: Yeah, yeah, you're right. I know you're right. It's just I keep making excuses

for her the same way I'm sitting here defending her to you right now. Oh,

works busy Albuquerque's better. Like I'm trying to convince myself.

LUKE: What's your situation? Like, where do you live? What's your environment?

CHESTER: I'm in Los Cruces. Got a little one bedroom off Lohman, nothing fancy, but

it's mine. Work overnight at the prison three, four nights a week, depending on the

schedule. Been there two years.

LUKE: Okay, so you're in Las Cruces. There's plenty of people around there. be too

hard to do.

CHESTER: I mean, yeah, there's people. But I don't know, man. I work nights, sleep

days, my social life is basically non-existent. Most of the guys I work with are

married or they're 20 years older than me. I'm 28.

LUKE: Yeah, you're 28 in Las Cruces, New Mexico. You can throw up a little

Tinder ad and see who bites. But are you in love with this girl?

CHESTER: No, that's the thing. I'm not. me so hard tonight because the father in

it he loves that kid so much he'd die for him without thinking twice.

LUKE: Don't they eat people in that book?

CHESTER: Yeah they do. There's these roving gangs. They keep people in basements like livestock.

It's brutal, but that's what makes the father's love for the kid so, I don't

know. Pure? He's protecting him from all that.

LUKE: Well maybe you should eat a little more of her and she'd be more

inclined to come visit.

CHESTER: Jesus, Luke. Okay, fair point. But honestly, last time she was down here, things

were...

LUKE: Things were what?

CHESTER: Off. Like, we had sex, but it felt like she was checking a box,

you know? And then she spent half the weekend on her phone texting her friends

in Albuquerque. I'm driving six hours round trip every other Friday to feel like an

obligation.

LUKE: Yeah, don't do it anymore. I mean, you're not in love with the chick.

She's really far away. of women around you. You can move on or not. You

know, it's okay being single too. It sounds like you don't really keep a consistent,

well, I mean, you don't keep a normal daytime schedule like most people. So when

do you have time to spend time with her?

CHESTER: That's exactly it. I don't. My days off are like Tuesday and Wednesday. She

works a normal job, nine to five. So even when I drive up there, she's

got brunch plans with her girlfriends on Saturday, or she's tired from her week, and

I'm sitting in her apartment waiting for her to have time for me.

LUKE: Yeah, that's disrespectful, so, I mean, you should just cut that out. There's no

reason you should be doing that. She's obviously not into you.

CHESTER: You're right. I know you're right. It's just, I keep thinking if I just

try harder, show up more, be more understanding about her schedule, then she'll, but that's

the thing with the book, read the book.

LUKE: I saw the movie and all I remember from it was that they ate

people.

CHESTER: Yeah, they do. There's these roving gangs. They keep people in basements like livestock.

You already said that. It's brutal. But that's what makes the father's love for the

kids so, I don't know, pure. He's protecting him from all that.

LUKE: Okay, so break up with your girlfriend because you don't have time and she

doesn't have time and you're not into each other and there's no reason to be

spending the gas money. That's what I say to you. Break up with the girl.

CHESTER: Yeah, yeah, you're right. I'll do it. I'm not driving up there this Friday.

LUKE: All right, good for you. You do it. That's, that's, uh, that's the can-do

spirit that we look for here at Luke at the Roost. Next up on the

radio show, we have Terry, Terry, welcome to the show. What's going on? Do you

eat people?

TERRY: Oh, Jesus. No, what? No, I'm a nurse. I mean, I have some stuff,

but sorry. I'm just sitting in my car in the hospital parking lot right now,

and I'm kind of losing it. I found out three days ago that I'm adopted,

and my mom, well, the woman who raised me, she's had a stroke, and I

just found all these papers at her house, and I don't know what to do

with this information.

LUKE: What are you thinking? You just found out that you're adopted, and your adopted

mother, who you can call your mom, had a stroke. That's horrible. Are you around

her to support and just be with her in her awful time of need?

TERRY: Yeah, I mean, I've been at the hospital every day. I just got off

a 12-hour shift and I'm supposed to go back in to see her before I

head home, but I'm sitting here in the parking lot just frozen. What were the

papers?

Official adoption documents dated six months after I was born, April 1980. My name, Terry

Lynn, a different mother's signature, the whole thing notarized and legal. They were in a

box in the back of her closet, with old tax returns.

LUKE: Well, all that proves is that this woman loved you, and now she's sick,

and you're there to care for her, and that's a good thing. So you don't

have to worry about the being adopted thing. Lots of people are adopted. As long

as she took care of you, she obviously made a decision to love you and

raise you, and you're a nurse now, so you've made a decision to help people

sounds ideal.

TERRY: I know. I know that. And you're right. She raised me. She loved me.

She loved me. But, Luke, it's been 44 years, 44 years of her looking at

me every single day and never saying a word.

TERRY: Why would she say a word? She doesn't, there's nothing to say. There's nothing

to say? I have a brother, Ray. He doesn't even know yet. I don't know

if he's adopted to, or if it's just me. I don't know who my actual

birth mother is or why she gave me up. I don't know if my dad,

if he was my real dad, or if he knew.

LUKE: Well, there's probably a good reason for that. Your birth mother might not have

wanted you to know that she existed, and your adopted mother may have just been

afraid that if you learned that you were adopted, you would abandon her in favor

of your birth mother who abandoned you.

TERRY: Oh, God. That's, I hadn't thought about it like that. She was protecting herself

from me leaving. But here's the thing. I always felt like something was off. My

whole life I felt like I was performing, like I was trying to be the

daughter she wanted instead of just...

LUKE: Instead of just what? I mean, what were you performing?

TERRY: I don't know. Being cheerful, being good, not being good, not causing problems. Ray

was always the one who could just be himself, you know? He'd fight with her,

slam doors, whatever. But I was always so careful, always trying to make sure she

was happy with me.

LUKE: And why do you think that is? Does she give you a reason to

behave in that way?

TERRY: No, not really. She was never mean or anything. But I always had this

feeling. And maybe this sounds crazy, it. Like I had to prove I deserve to

be there.

LUKE: Well, I think a lot of kids feel that way, and I'm going to

ask you this, and it's not to be mean, it's not to be cold, but

what makes you feel like you shouldn't have had to earn it? Like, why would

you just expect it?

TERRY: I... Wow. That's a hell of a question, Luke. I guess because she's my

mom, or I thought she was.

LUKE: Sure, but that's a... That doesn't mean you don't have to earn affection or

likeability. She's your mom, and she loved you, and she raised you, and she provided

for you, and she did all the necessary things. So what is it that you

were earning from her or that you felt like you had to earn from her?

TERRY: The feeling that I actually belonged there, that I wasn't temporary, that she wouldn't

change her mind. And now I find out that's exactly what I was. Somebody else's

kid that she took in.

LUKE: Well, no, that's not what you were, because you were there for 44 years,

right? So she raised you your whole life. She didn't ever treat you as temporary.

TERRY: No, you're right. She didn't, but she also never told me the truth. For

44 years, she let me think I was hers. And that feels like...

LUKE: Yeah, I'm sure it feels like a lot of things all at the same

time, but if you try and separate yourself from the emotion of it and think

about it logically and look at your life and how she treated you growing up.

Was it all that bad? Does it matter, really? There are almost certainly good reasons

that you were put up for adoption and that she adopted you. Maybe she couldn't

have kids herself and she really wanted one. Maybe your birth mother was in a

situation where she couldn't provide for you or was dying. Like, you don't know unless

that's something something that you talk to her about. But I wouldn't feel like you've

been wronged. It sounds, that sounds like an abundance of love to me.

TERRY: I hear what you're saying, Luke. I do, but she's had a stroke. She

might not wake up. And if she doesn't, I'll never know why she didn't tell

me. I'll never know who my birth mother was or why she gave me up.

And Ray, my brother. He doesn't know any of this yet.

LUKE: So she had a stroke. She's in potentially the worst situation of her entire

life and you're worried about whether you know why she gave you up or not.

Like, why? It doesn't seem important.

TERRY: Because I spent my whole life feeling like something was off and now I

know I was right. And yeah, maybe that makes me selfish when she's lying in

a hospital bed, but I can't just turn off 44 years of wondering why I

never quite fit.

LUKE: Well, why you felt like you never quite fit has nothing to do with

her. That's entirely a you thing.

TERRY: That's not fair, Luke. How is it entirely a me thing when she kept

this massive secret my entire life? When every time I looked in the mirror and

didn't see her face looking back, every time someone said I didn't act like family,

she could have just told me the truth and she chose not to.

LUKE: Because that's not a thing. People don't act like family. That's all about upbringing

and your social environment. It doesn't have anything to do with your blood. People that

are biologically related don't act a certain way because they're biologically related. They act a

certain way because they grew up together. They share an intense, long-lasting life experience like

you do with this woman who is in the hospital right now and your brother.

And there's no reason you have to think any more about it there's nothing more

to it than that. She loved you. You might not know what happened or why,

but you can choose to go about the rest of your life with the understanding

that you were loved and that there was likely a good reason in your best

interest for the way those things played out.

TERRY: You're probably right. I know you're probably right, but sitting here in this parking

lot looking at those adoption papers with someone else's signature where my mother should be,

I keep thinking about all the times I asked her why I was so different.

Why I was bad at the things Ray was good at.

LUKE: Because you're a different person than Ray. You know, it has nothing to do

with who raised you or who your mother was.

TERRY: Okay, but then why hide it? If it doesn't matter, if blood doesn't matter,

why not just tell me when I was 10 or 15 or 20? Why let

me find out now like this, going through her files? Because she might die. That's

what I can't get past.

LUKE: Because there could be a good reason for that. Your birth mother may have...

That could have been a stipulation, like a non-disclosure agreement. There could be a very

good reason that you don't know who that was.

TERRY: Oh, God. I didn't even think about that. Like maybe my birth mother didn't

want to be found. Or there was something...

LUKE: Correct. And you can never know unless you can have that conversation with your

mom. And you might not get that conversation. And if you think about it, logically,

what would change in your life today if you had different information?

TERRY: Nothing would change. That's the thing that's killing me, Luke. I'd still be sitting

in this parking lot in my scrubs. I'd still have worked a 12-hour shift. Ray

would still be Ray.

LUKE: Exactly. Ray would still be Ray. Nothing would change. She would still be your

mom. She would still be in the hospital. You would still be working, and everything

would be exactly the same. So it really doesn't matter whether you know who your

birth mother is or not. You could do one of those DNA test things or

a genealogy situation. I don't know if that can go down to your actual birth

parents. But why? Like, what is the point? It sounds like you had a decent

upbringing. You're a grown adult with your own life now and maybe you feel like

you don't fit in, but that's an unrelated problem to this.

TERRY: You're right. I mean, she raised me. She was there for every scraped knee,

every bad boyfriend. Every time I called her crying about something stupid. That's what matters.

Not some signature on a piece of paper I found in a filing cabinet.

LUKE: Exactly. And what matters is that she is in the hospital and she may

not recover and you may not recover only have a little bit of time left

with her. So I would wipe this from your mind and go spend time with

your mom.

TERRY: Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I should go back in there. I've been sitting out

here for almost an hour, just...

LUKE: Yep, you should go back in there. So do that.

TERRY: Okay, I will. Thank you, Luke. I really needed to hear that.

LUKE: You are very welcome, and I wish you all the best of luck. I

hope she makes a full recovery. And then you can put this behind you and

move on with your life. And with that, folks, it's time for a word from

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LUKE: Look, I'm not a financial advisor. I'm a guy with a microphone and a

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does not return their calls. It does not return their calls. It does not return

their calls. And we won't return your calls, but if you call in, you can

leave us a voicemail. And if I think it's funny, it might be read on

the next show. So you should do that. Next up on the old radio show,

we've got Travis. Travis, welcome to the show. What's keeping you up tonight?

TRAVIS: Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So I'm sitting here in my dark

room, trying to work. And two hours ago, my daughter shows me this video that's

been going around her school since Monday. me, my face, my voice, telling a room

full of kids that the Navajo Nation doesn't deserve water rights. Except, I never said

that. Someone took footage from different talks I've given and stitched it together to make

me say the exact opposite of everything I actually believe.

LUKE: Well, that's pretty insane, and it's hard to believe anybody would say that. So,

um, who do you think might have done this?

TRAVIS: I mean, that's the thing. I've been documenting pipeline construction and transmission lines for

environmental groups and tribal councils for 15 years. I've testified against energy companies. I've worked

with the Navajo Water Rights Commission. So take your pick, you know. Could be some

kid who thinks it's funny. Could be someone with an actual axe to grind.

LUKE: That doesn't sound like a thing a kid would actually even know about or

know to do. So it seems more likely to me that that's one of your

enemies trying to slander you in front of children?

TRAVIS: It doesn't make a lot of sense. You're right, it doesn't. I mean, what

ninth grade even knows who I am or cares about water rights litigation. But here's

what's messing with my head. My daughter said kids are commenting on it, sharing it

around. And I'm sitting here thinking, okay, if this is some coordinated thing, from an

energy company or a PR firm, why target a school presentation?

LUKE: Yeah, there's a few strange things about where you're saying here. I don't think

a video like that would go viral with high school kids. Maybe it would. I

don't know. I've been out of high school for a while, so it just seems

uninteresting to them. So do you have any known enemies? And do you have a

relationship with the Navajo Nation?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I work with them pretty regularly, or I did. I've got contacts at

the Water Rights Commission. I've photographed documentation for their legal cases. I've been out to

Window Rock probably a dozen times in the last three years. As for enemies, I

mean, there's the San Juan Coal Company. They weren't thrilled when my photos ended up

in that lawsuit last year. There's a fracking outfit near Farmington that tried to get

an injunction against me for trespassing on what they claimed was private land. But here's

what I keep coming back to. If someone wanted to discredit me with the people

I actually work with, with the tribal councils, or the environmental groups, they'd send it

to.

LUKE: Yeah, absolutely. So you obviously have worked with the Navajo for a long time.

You've got relationships in their council, I'm sure, and they know that you didn't say

that, right? They're going to believe you when you say this wasn't me. I think

at this point, everybody recognizes that this is possible and not that hard to do.

So if there's a video of you saying something that is clearly against everything that

you've ever stood for in your whole career, I think it should be pretty hard

to dismiss. Strange to think about the why somebody would do this. What is the

intention behind it?

TRAVIS: That's what's keeping me up, man, because you're right. The people who know me

know me, they'll know it's fake. But my daughter's sitting there scrolling through comments from

kids saying, wow, what a racist and this guy's trash. And she's like, embarrassed. She

asked me if I actually said it. And I'm thinking, okay, maybe that's not about

destroying my credibility with the Navajo Water Rights Commission.

LUKE: Well, that is pretty dark right there. If somebody's going to try and destroy

your own relationship with your kid, uh, you must to really piss somebody off badly.

TRAVIS: Yeah, and that's what's getting to me. Because I can handle getting yelled at

by some executive in a boardroom. I can handle threats. I've had those before. But

watching my kid look at me like she wasn't sure if she could believe me.

That hit different.

LUKE: Well, it could be another thing, too, that we haven't thought about. What if

it's not your enemy, but it's an enemy of your kid that was trying to

embarrass your kid by looking up information about you and publishing that to the school.

TRAVIS: Oh man, I didn't even, yeah, that's a whole different angle. She's a junior,

so there's all that social hierarchy stuff I don't fully understand. She did mention it

first showed up on some group chat she's in, but she seemed more confused than

like targeted, you know? Like she wasn't saying, someone's coming after me. She was saying,

Dad, what is this? But now, I'm wondering, does she have beef with someone I

don't know about?

LUKE: She might have beef with somebody that she doesn't know about. I mean, this

is the 2026 version of a bucket of pig's blood at the prom.

TRAVIS: Jesus, that's bleak. But you might be on to something, because she's been kind

of quiet lately. I thought it was just junior year stress, college stuff. But what

if someone's been messing with her, and this is just what finally bubbled up to

where I could see it. I mean, how do I even ask her that without

making it worse? Hey, honey, which of your classmates hates you enough to deep fake

your dad?

LUKE: Well, you could just start with a simple conversation like, hey, I'm trying to

get to the bottom of where this video came from and why it was distributed

to your school. And there doesn't seem to be a good reason that any of

my adversaries would target me in that way, because they wouldn't overwhelmingly, very lazy, and

that takes a lot of coordination to pull off. There's a lot of information they

had to pull up about who your kid was, what school they were, what chats

she was in. Some oil company wouldn't know that.

TRAVIS: You're absolutely right. An oil company would just send a cease and desist, or

try to get me fired from whatever freelance gig I'm on. They wouldn't know what

group chat might Daufer's in. They wouldn't know her schedule well enough to time it

so it hits, during the school day. That's someone who knows her world.

LUKE: Yeah, it must be, or a really, really twisted fuck that you really pissed

off, and I think you would know who that was if there was that person.

So it sounds more to me like it's her that is the target of this,

and not you.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I think you're right. And now I'm sitting here in my dark room

at midnight, feeling like an idiot, because I made this whole thing about me, about

my work, my reputation, who I've pissed off over pipeline photos. Meanwhile, my kids getting

targeted by some psycho 17-year-old with editing software, and I didn't even see it.

LUKE: Well, I have that conversation, see what it's about. There's probably nothing you can

do about the video if it's already circulating, but luckily it's circulating in a small,

contained space, and it's not going to be remembered. Nobody's going to hold on to

that.

NORM: Oh, hey, Luke. Yeah. I'm good, man. Little wired, honestly. So listen, my best

friend Miguel keeps asking me to move to Tucson with him, get a place together,

and I keep making up excuses, but the real reason I won't do it is

I think I might be in love with him and I have no idea what

to do about that.

LUKE: Well, what makes you think he's not in love with you if he's asking

you to move in with him?

NORM: Oh man, I don't see. That's the thing that's been driving me crazy. Like,

he says it's practical, right? Split rent? We've always talked about doing that food truck

thing. He's got connections with the school district down there. But then, like, last Christmas,

we were both pretty drunk, and he looked at me in this way that I

don't know, Luke. Maybe I'm reading into it because I want to see it.

LUKE: Is he gay?

NORM: I honestly don't know. He's never dated anyone seriously that I know of. Like,

in high school, there were girls he'd hook up with at parties, but nothing ever

stuck. And since then, nothing.

LUKE: Well, if he's your best friend and he's asking you to move in and

you share that level of trust, it's going to be an awkward conversation, but I

think you should ask.

NORM: Yeah, yeah, I know you're right. It's just, God, what if I'm completely wrong?

What if he And then I lose him entirely.

LUKE: Well, then he wasn't a very good friend to begin with.

NORM: I mean, that's fair. We've been through a lot of shit together. He was

there when my dad died. I helped him through his mom's cancer scare.

LUKE: Do you want to live with him?

NORM: Yeah, I really do. Like, I've been thinking about it constantly. What our kitchen

would look like. Who'd take which bedroom? Stupid stuff like making coffee together in the

morning. And that food truck idea?

LUKE: Well, if you're in love with the dude, I wouldn't move in with him

without having that conversation first, because that could get real, real awkward. And then you've

moved in, your stuff is there, just is much messier than to deal with that

right out of the gate, you know? So talk to your buddy. Ask him like,

hey, you into dudes?

NORM: Oh, God, just like that? Hey, Miguel, quick question before I pack up my

life. You into dudes? You're right, though. I can't do this halfway. I've been sitting

here in my bathroom with the shower running hot for like an hour trying to

figure out how to text him back. And I keep typing, yes, let's do it,

and then deleting it because I'm terrified of what happens after.

LUKE: Yeah, I think you got to talk to him first and have the awkward

conversation. And one way or another, that'll tell you how to proceed. Because what happens

if you have that conversation with him and you say, hey, I have feelings for

you? I think it would be weird if we were living together and you didn't

share those feelings. What if he's not gay? And he does say, no, I'm not

gay, but I'd still like to live with you. Could you deal with that?

NORM: No, no, I really couldn't. That's the thing that's been eating at me. If

I tell him and he doesn't feel the same way, I don't think I could

just go back to normal. Like, watching him date women, being his roommate while I'm

still feeling this way, that sounds like actual torture.

LUKE: Okay, well, then it sounds like you can just flat out, say, No, I

don't think it's the right time for that and blow that request off. Or you

can sit down and have the hard conversation.

NORM: The hard conversation. Jesus. Okay. Okay. So what do I even say? Do I

lead with, I think I might be in love with you? Or do I ease

into it?

LUKE: Well, I don't know. You're the one that has this problem. Don't put this

shit on me. I have no idea. That's not how I I would approach it.

What I would, I would just ask him straight out if he was gay.

NORM: You're right. You're right. I'm overthinking it. Just, are you gay or maybe, are

you into guys? God, even saying it out loud makes my stomach flip. The worst

part is there have been these moments.

LUKE: Well, it sounds like you already suspect that he might be gay and kind

of into you. So there, there's probably something there. And also, So a dude asking

another dude to move in with him is pretty gay. So you're not completely out

of line in that line of questioning.

NORM: Okay, that's fair. Yeah. Straight guys don't usually text their buddy at midnight about

splitting rent and building a life together. And last Christmas, man, we were both drunk

and he said something about how I was the only person who really got him.

And the way he looked at me...

LUKE: Yep. So just bring it up, be direct, ask him the question. You don't

have to make it weird. It It doesn't have to be, well, it's a little

bit weird no matter what, but it doesn't have to be super weird. Just ask

him, and if he gets all butt hurt and doesn't want to talk to you

anymore, then that sucks and you lose a friend, but better to know that now

than when you're sleeping in the room next to him.

NORM: You're absolutely right. Better to blow it up now from 400 miles away than

after I've quit my route and signed a lease. All right, I'm going to call

him tomorrow, not text, call.

LUKE: All right, give us a call back when you have more news. Let us

know how it went, okay?

NORM: Yeah, I will. Thanks, Luke. Seriously. I've been sitting on this for two years,

and I think I just needed someone to tell me to stop being a coward

about it.

LUKE: Yep, well, that's a tough thing, an awkward conversation that I can understand nobody

would want to have. So good luck to you. I hope it works out in

your favor, whichever way that is. And now it's time for a number. Another word

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The answer is still no. Saddle soft. Your chair is uncomfortable enough.! Okay, Megan. Megan,

are you the same caller that called in a few days ago?

MEGAN: Yeah, that's me. The kindergarten teacher from down in the booth heel. I've called

in a couple times now.

LUKE: Yeah, I remember you. You really flipped my opinion on kindergarten teachers.

MEGAN: Oh, God, the footskin thing. Look, I knew that was going to follow me.

My friend Tammy still won't let me live it down.

LUKE: Oh, Jesus, you're the footskin chick. No, I was talking about when you were

telling me how important the role of the and teacher is in teaching kids how

to learn for the rest of their learning careers. I forgot about the foot skin

picking thing. That is, that's gross.

MEGAN: Oh, yeah, well, I mean, both things are true. I can shape young minds

and have disgusting habits.

LUKE: Yes, you can. It is a free country. So what are you calling in

for tonight?

MEGAN: So my sister Crystal, the one up in Flagstaff I told you about, She

called me yesterday and she's moving back to Missouri. Like next month. Just decided.

LUKE: Okay. And how do you feel about that?

MEGAN: Honestly, I'm pissed. She spent seven years up there complaining about how there's nothing

to do in the boutique. How she needed the mountains, needed to be somewhere with

culture, all that. And now she's coming back because, and this is the part that's

killing me, she says she misses family.

LUKE: Why is that killing you. She's obviously got family in Missouri.

MEGAN: Because I've been here the whole time, Luke. I drive up to see my

brother Ray every other week to make sure he's not completely falling apart. I check

on mom. I'm the one who stayed. And Crystal gets to sworn off to Arizona,

ignore everybody for years, and then just decide she misses us?

LUKE: Well, yeah, would you rather she doesn't decide to miss you and she stays

in Arizona where she doesn't want to be and doesn't get see any of you?

MEGAN: No, I look. That's not the point. The point is she gets to just

make these big sweeping decisions. I'm leaving, I'm coming back, I miss family now, and

I'm supposed to what, just be happy about it, roll out the welcome wagon?

LUKE: Well, it's not that she gets to make decisions, it's that she does make

decisions. You can make decisions too.

MEGAN: Okay, but no but seriously. It's not the same. doesn't have a classroom full

of kids depending on her. She works remote doing graphic design. She can just pick

up and go wherever. I can just leave in the middle of a school year

because I feel like it.

LUKE: You absolutely can leave in the middle of a school year because you feel

like it. What you do at work is your job and you can change your

job at any point for any reason. So if you wanted to make those big

sweeping decisions in your life, you could absolutely do that.

FLOYD: Oh, man. Okay, so this is going to sound insane, but I need you

to tell me if I'm losing my mind. I'm at a rest stop outside Deming

right now. And about 20 minutes ago, I was eating peanuts from the gas station,

and I tasted the exit sign. I literally tasted green metal in my mouth when

I looked at it. And now I can't stop thinking about whether my brain is

breaking or if this has always been happening and I just never noticed.

LUKE: What does green taste like?

FLOYD: Like, okay, so it's this sharp metallic thing, almost like if you licked a

chain link fence, but with this weird brightness to it. And it's specifically that highway

sign green. Not like like grass green or anything. Of course. The peanuts were fine.

And then I glanced up at the exit sign. And suddenly my mouth had this

taste that matched the color exactly. And the fluorescent lights in the bathroom, those have

a taste too. Kind of burnt coffee mixed with static electricity. I know how this

sounds, Luke. I really do. But it's so specific that I can't shake it.

LUKE: Are you under the influence of any drugs at the moment?

FLOYD: No. I'm stone cold sober. I'm driving a route to El Paso. I've got

a delivery at 3 a.m. I don't even drink coffee afternoon because it messes with

my sleep. That's what's freaking me out. If I was high or hadn't slept in

two days, I'd be like, okay, yeah, that tracks. But I'm just driving, doing my

normal thing, and suddenly colors have flavors. And I'm sitting in a truck stop parking

lot, wondering if I'm having a stroke or something.

LUKE: Yeah, that doesn't sound right to me. Has this ever happened to you before?

FLOYD: Never. Not once in 36 years. That's why I'm calling my girlfriend Diane. She

texted me this article this afternoon about synesthesia, you know, where people's senses get crossed

and they see sounds as colors or whatever. And I read it while I was

waiting to load up in Tucson and thought it was interesting but didn't think anything

of it. Then tonight this happens. And now I'm like, did reading about it make

my brain do it? Can that even happen?

LUKE: I think that can happen. It's like a placebo effect type thing. I don't

know. It sounds like it could be a placebo from what you've read and what

you've been thinking about, and it could also be a severe neurological disorder. So maybe

you should talk to a clinic and ask them if that's a symptom of a

bigger problem or nothing to be concerned about. Because I don't know. That's a weird

one.

FLOYD: Yeah, you're right. I should. The thing is is, I'm supposed to be in

El Paso in like four hours, and I've been sitting here for half an hour

just staring at my odometer, trying to figure out if the number seven feels smug

to me. Like, does that sound crazy? I'm looking at numbers and assigning them personalities

now.

LUKE: No, that one's absolutely correct. The number seven is absolutely smug.

LUKE: So you're right about that, but the tasting green street signs is a bit

odd, and maybe something that you want to get checked out.

CALLER: Okay, see, that makes me feel a little better. Wait, no, it doesn't. Because

now I don't know if you're messing with me or if seven actually is smug.

And I've just been noticing things that were always there. God, this is making my

head hurt. Should I even be driving right now?

LUKE: No, you should probably not be driving right now. You should get to a

clinic and see what's up with that, because it doesn't sound like you're in a

stable state, and you might be on the brink of a psychotic break.

CALLER: A psychotic break. Break? Jesus. Luke, I called for some reassurance here, not to

get told I'm losing my mind. I mean, okay, you might be right.

LUKE: Yeah, I can't reassure you that what you're saying is normal behavior because it's

not. I've never heard of that before. And unless you're under the influence of some

strong psychedelics, I don't know that that that's a good thing. It sounds like brain

issue. So I'm not saying that it's a is a brain issue. I'm saying that

you should get that checked and maybe stay off the road.

CALLER: All right. All right. There's a hospital endemming. I passed the sign like 10

miles back. I can turn around. My dispatcher's going to be pissed. This delivery is

time sensitive. It's refrigerated pharmaceuticals. But you're right. If I'm actually having some kind of

neurological event, I shouldn't be piloting a 40-foot truck down the interstate at midnight. It's

just, man. I feel fine otherwise. Like physically, I feel completely normal.

LUKE: Well, you felt abnormal enough to call a radio show about it, so that's

a good sign. But you should get it checked out. That's the responsible thing to

do. And you don't want to hurt anybody because you ignored a symptom of a

serious issue.

CALLER: Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right. I just, God, Diane's going to freak out

when I tell her.

LUKE: Yeah, that might be one you don't tell her.

CALLER: What? You think I should just show up to a hospital by myself at

midnight and not tell my wife I might be having a stroke or whatever? Come

on, Luke.

LUKE: Yes, that is what I think. I think you should show up at the

hospital, ask them if it's a thing. And if they say it's not a thing,

carry on with your day. If they say it is a thing, then have the

conversation with your wife. Because what's not going to go well is a call to

your wife saying that you taste the green street sign when you eat peanuts.

CALLER: Okay, when you put it like that, yeah, that does sound insane. She already

thinks I'm a hypochondriac because of that whole thing with the mole last year that

turned out to be nothing. If I call her at midnight saying I'm tasting colors,

she's going to think I've completely lost it. But what do I even tell the

ER?

LUKE: You tell the ER that you're tasting colors and you think that's strange and

you want to know if that's a symptom of a known issue.

CALLER: Right. Okay. Yeah. I can do that.

LUKE: Okay. Well, you do that, buddy, and let us know how it goes, because

that is the weirdest call that we've ever had. So congratulations. Hold on. Let me

find one for you. We're going to give you, hold on, hold on, hold on,

hold on. All right. Well done. You have the trophy right now, and hopefully someday

soon we'll get a weirder call, and then they will snatch that trophy from you.

But good luck with your story. street sign mouth, and I wish you the best

of luck. Everybody, this has been another great episode of Luke at the Roost, and

we hope you enjoy the remainder of your evening.