LUKE: Alright, welcome back to the show. This is Luke at the Roost, the late-night
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call in radio show where I, Luke, take your calls and give you real-world advice
on whatever might be bothering you tonight. So it is Wednesday, February 11th, it's about
9.18 pm, if you're around, you can give us a call. The number is 208-439-5853,
that's 208-439-Luke, so give us a call and we'll get you on the air and
talk about whatever is bothering you. Okay, so tonight we're going to go to the
phones here, we've got, they're already lighting up as they always are, and we're going
to talk to Keith, Keith, welcome to the show. What has you calling in tonight?
KEITH: Yeah, hey Luke, thanks for taking my call, so I work at the hospital,
right? And I'm usually pretty good at keeping my cool, it's kind of what I
do all day, you know, staying calm when everything's falling apart.
LUKE: I would hope so with all the panic and triage and crises that happen
in a hospital. What's on your mind?
KEITH: Well, last night I completely lost it on my daughter. She's seven, she knocked
over a glass of juice at dinner and I just screamed at her Luke, like
really screamed, over some goddamn juice on the table, and the way her face just
crumpled, man, I can still see it.
LUKE: Oh man, that's pretty rough, yeah, it sucks to be a kid and when
your parents are stressed out, they take that pretty hard, I've heard, I'm not a
parent myself, but it seems like a difficult situation to navigate, so I certainly feel
for you, what are you going to do about that?
KEITH: I apologized to her this morning before school, told her daddy was tired and
shouldn't have yelled like that. She said it was okay, but she was still kind
of quiet around me.
LUKE: Is this something that happens all the time? Is this a recurring problem? Do
you often snap at your seven-year-old daughter because of your shitty day at work or
is this a one-time occurrence?
KEITH: No, no, this was the first time I really went off like that. I
mean, I've been short with her before, you know, not now daddy's tired kind of
stuff, but nothing like this, this was different.
LUKE: Well, you meant no harm by it, even if a little bit of harm
was done, and she'll recover, she'll get over it, just make sure that she knows
it wasn't really her fault, it was a mistake, and you were having a bad
day, and daddy's human too, because you are. So you can forgive yourself and just
try to make it up to her the best way you can without going overboard
in the other direction.
KEITH: Yeah, you're right, I appreciate that. The thing is though, Luke, I think what's
eating at me is I've been running on fumes for a while now.
LUKE: Yeah, and what are you going to do about that? You're going to take
a little nap, do some yoga, to take off on a silent retreat with some
Buddhist monks into bed, and what can you do to resolve that issue?
KEITH: I don't know, man, that's kind of why I called. I can't exactly take
time off. We're short staffed as it is. My wife's got her own stuff going
on, her sister's always got some drama she needs to help with.
LUKE: Yeah, but you know, you're an adult and you have to take care of
yourself first. That's what I always say. So if you've got to take the time
off, you can't really be concerned about being short staffed. You just got to take
the time off, and if they have a problem with that, then maybe you need
a new job. You can only do the best you can do, and you have
to make sure that your own health, physical and mental health is in order. Otherwise,
you're of no use to anybody, and you're going to snap at seven year olds.
KEITH: You're not wrong. I guess I just, I've always been the guy people lean
on, you know, at work, at home. And saying no feels like I'm letting everybody
down.
LUKE: Well, sometimes leaders have to let people down. If you're going to be the
leader in the head of the household and a man, then sometimes you're going to
stand up for yourself and not please everybody. You can't please everybody all the time,
and you could try, you're just going to burn yourself out. So, I recommend not
doing that, and take whatever time you need to take to get yourself under control
so that you can be the best version of yourself for your kid and your
patience and your wife, and anybody that meets you in daily life.
KEITH: Yeah, I hear you. I think part of me knows that, but hearing someone
else say it, it helps. I've got like two weeks of PTO I haven't touched
in over a year.
LUKE: Well, there you go. I think it's time to take it. Keith, I've got
a question for you. Are you ready for my question?
KEITH: Yeah, shoot.
LUKE: I want to know, what's your most embarrassing bathroom story? Tell me a story
about a time you get stuck driving or what happened.
KEITH: Oh, Jesus, Luke. Okay, so a few years back, I was driving back from
Flagstaff after visiting my brother, and I stopped at this gas station outside of Prescott.
I go in to use the bathroom and the lock on the stall is busted,
right? So I'm in there doing my business, and some guy just swings the door
open, doesn't knock or anything, and we just lock eyes for like three full seconds.
LUKE: Oh, man, during that three seconds was there like a plop?
KEITH: Ha, yeah, actually, right as he opened the door, perfect timing. The guy just
goes, oh shit, sorry, man. And backs out, but I swear I saw him laughing
when I came out to wash my hands. I couldn't even look at him.
LUKE: Oh, man. All right, well thank you for the call. I wish you the
best of luck with your daughter and your work. Take some time off and get
back at it when you're a hundred percent. Okay, Megan, Megan, welcome to the show.
What has your call on in tonight?
MEGAN: Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I teach kindergarten down here in
the boot heel. And today, during story time, one of my five-year-olds, this little boy
named David. He looks up at the ceiling and asks me if the stars know
we're looking at them.
LUKE: Wow, that's a pretty loaded question. What did you tell him?
MEGAN: I told him I didn't know, but that it was a really good question,
and maybe they do. And honestly, it stuck with me all day because I just
got off the phone with my sister, Crystal, who moved up to Flagstaff a few
years back. And she spent 20 minutes bitching about traffic and how long the lines
were at the grocery store. And I tried to tell her about David's question. I
tried to get her to remember how we used to drive out past the ranch
roads and just sit on the tailgate, watching the Milky Way, you know?
LUKE: Yeah, I do that all the time. I'm always out in the wilderness looking
at the Milky Way. And I wonder things like that myself. What's your take on
it, though? Do you think it's possible that the stars could know or that the
universe is one universal organism that's just watching itself?
MEGAN: Oh man, I don't know about all that. I'm not that deep blue. But
what gets me is that Crystal didn't even seem to care anymore.
LUKE: Care about what? And what is the Crystal didn't care about?
MEGAN: About the sky. About what we're missing when we can't see it. She lives
in Flagstaff now and there's so much light pollution. She says she hasn't seen a
truly dark sky in years. And when I brought it up tonight, she just kind
of brushed it off like it didn't matter.
LUKE: Well, that's not entirely true. I was just up in Flagstaff. Actually, Flagstaff is
one of the first places I ever got a picture of the Milky Way. It's
pretty dark up there. There's the low observatory. And a lot of night sky activity.
So I wouldn't say that Flagstaff has too much light pollution. It's one of the
darker places in the country.
MEGAN: Really? Well, shit. Maybe she's just not going out to look anymore then. That
actually makes it worse, doesn't it? I mean, she's got access to it and she's
just...
LUKE: I understand. I mean, I grew up on the East Coast and the Milky
Way isn't a thing that you can really see there. So when I came to
the West Coast, the West Side, and got an opportunity to see the Milky Way
just when I walk outside my door, it's a very different experience. And I think
most people, almost all people, have never even seen the Milky Way.
MEGAN: So they don't know what they're missing and they don't care. But once you
get out here and you have those experiences and start thinking those philosophical questions about,
you know, do the stars know you're looking at them? It becomes a more important
part of your life. And people go through different stages in their lives. Sometimes the
sky is important, and existential questions are important. And other times they're just busy doing
work and life and watching TV. Yeah, you're right. I guess I'm being unfair to
her. She's got two kids now and works crazy hours at the hospital up there.
LUKE: Well, I hope that you enjoy watching the night sky and maybe sometime later
on in life you can do that again with your sister. I've got a question
for you, though. Are you ready for my question, Megan?
MEGAN: Yeah, go ahead.
LUKE: What is the grossest habit that you have that you would never admit in
person?
MEGAN: Oh, Jesus, Luke. Where did that come from? Um, okay, I guess.
LUKE: Come on, we're waiting. You're on the air.
MEGAN: All right, all right. I eat cereal dry straight from the box while standing
at the counter after the kids go to bed. Like, I'll just grab the cinnamon
toast crunch and shove handfuls in my mouth over the sink.
LUKE: Nope, I'm not letting you get away with that one. Everybody does that. That's
not gross. I want to hear about the gross thing that you do that you
don't want to admit.
MEGAN: Oh, God, okay. Fine.
LUKE: Let's go. Let's go. What is it? Come on.
MEGAN: I pick at the dry skin on my feet while I'm watching TV and
I just flick it onto the floor like I'll sit there with my feet up
and just go to town and then I vacuum it up later.
LUKE: All right, that's pretty gross. But, uh, you know, I've done that, too. So
I'm not going to give you too much shit for it. But thank you for
being honest with us and I wish you the best of luck in your night
sky adventures. Andre, Andre, welcome to the show. How can we help you today?
ANDRE: Hey, Luke. Thanks for having me back, man. So listen, I got some news
about that whole lawsuit thing we talked about last time. You remember with the 15
grand and the house fire?
LUKE: Oh, yeah, I remember. And then it was 85 grand and then you called
back and you said they were suing the department or your name was in some
legal documents. What's going on?
ANDRE: Yeah, exactly. So I got a letter from the department's lawyer yesterday and apparently
the insurance company dropped the whole thing just like that.
LUKE: Yeah, I told you that's what was going to happen. It was a ridiculous
lawsuit. I mean, I'll be your legal counsel. Just tell him Luke said it was
cool.
ANDRE: Yeah, you called it. But you know what? The thing that's got me twisted
up now is the family, the ones I helped, they sent me a card.
LUKE: Why is that guy you twisted up? That's nice. You found some money. You
saved their lock box full of cash and you gave it back to him like
a good man. So that's nice of them to send you a card and recognition
of your service.
ANDRE: Yeah, I mean, it is nice. But here's the thing. Inside the card, they
put 500 bucks cash like a thank you or something. And I don't know what
to do with it, man. I'm sitting here looking at it on my kitchen counter
and it feels weird to keep it. But it also feels weird to give it
back.
LUKE: Well, you know what? You know what is cool about that? Is you're looking
at the cash there on the table and you're not thinking about taking it to
the casino. So it sounds like you're moving in the right direction. If I remember
correctly, you were struggling with gambling addiction problems and that's a good sign that you're
on the right track. So if you don't want to take the money, they want
you to have it. So you should take the money. But if you don't want
to keep it or it makes you feel weird, then you can donate that to
a charity or to people you know that are in need.
ANDRE: You're right. Yeah. I haven't been to the casino in like two months now.
I've been going to the meetings and everything. I'm just saying it feels like I
don't know. Like I'm getting paid for doing the right thing. And that wasn't why
I did it. But you know what? Maybe I'm overthinking it.
LUKE: Yeah, I think so. It sounds like it all worked out okay. They got
their money back. The lawsuit got dropped. You got the money. And the gambling's not
rearing up and ruining your life right now. So it seems like everything's going well.
And you should be proud of yourself, sleep well, and enjoy your 500 bucks.
ANDRE: Yeah, you're right, man. I appreciate that. I think I'll maybe put it toward
some new fishing gear. me and TJ have been talking about going out to Lake
Pleasant next week.
LUKE: That sounds like a plan. All right, Andre. I have a question for you.
Are you ready for it?
ANDRE: Oh, man. Here we go. Yeah. All right. Hit me with it.
LUKE: All right. What is the worst thing you've ever said during sex?
ANDRE: Jesus, Luke. Okay. All right. So this was years ago. Back when I was
still married to Diane. We're in the middle of it, right? And I don't know
what the hell I was thinking. But I said good job. Like she just finished
washing the truckers up.
LUKE: Very nice. That's a good one. All right, Andre. You have a good night
and we'll talk to you later. It is time for a word from our sponsors.
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is bliss. But you're not here for bliss. Okay. Welcome back to the show. Thank
you Overwhelmed VPN for your support. Next up on the lines we have Carla. Carla,
welcome to the show. What's got you up tonight on this fine Wednesday February 11th?
CARLA: Hey Luke, hey. So okay, I got an update on the whole photo situation
from last time I called.
LUKE: Okay, you're going to have to remind me about that photo situation.
CARLA: Oh man, okay, so I found these old explicit photos of my ex-husband and
his girlfriend back in the day. Like before we were even together. They were in
a box of his ham radio stuff that he left at my place. I called
asking what to do with them because it was just weird having them, you know?
LUKE: I do know and I suggested you send them to me. So what is
it that you did with the photos?
CARLA: I'm not going to lie. I almost did just mail them to you. But
I ended up burning them in my fire pit out back. It felt like the
right move, you know? But here's the thing, his girlfriend from the photos.
LUKE: Yeah, what about her? Did you burn her in the fire pit too?
CARLA: Huh, no. She messaged me on Facebook. Out of nowhere.
LUKE: That's a little weird, so you find these photos of her in the act
with your ex-husband and then she messages you on face. Do you know the woman?
Have you ever spoken before?
CARLA: No, never. I'd seen her name pop up on his friend's list way back,
but we never talked or anything. So yeah, it's super weird. She said she heard
through the grapevine that I found some old photos and she wanted to clear the
air about it. Like, how did she even know?
LUKE: Well, I'm just going to go out on a limb and say maybe she
heard it when you called into a radio show and told the world.
CARLA: Oh, for real though. Yeah, okay, that's fair. I didn't even think about that.
My friend Tammy from church listened sometimes and she knew about it, so I guess
word could have gotten around.
LUKE: But still, it's weird that she cared enough to reach out, right?
CARLA: Yeah, it's a little weird, it's a little awkward.
LUKE: So what did you do? Did you have a conversation with her or just
leave the message sitting there?
CARLA: I responded. I mean, I was curious what she even wanted to say. She
was actually pretty cool about it. Apologized for the weirdness of me finding them. Said
she didn't even know those photos still existed.
LUKE: Yeah, that's a little bit strange. Well, I've got a question for you. I've
got a question for you tonight. Are you ready for that?
CARLA: Yeah, go ahead.
LUKE: What is the weirdest thing that you've ever masturbated to?
CARLA: Oh my god, Luke. Really? That's where we're going with this?
LUKE: Oh, you know it. That's exactly where we're going with this. Come on.
CARLA: I'll with it. Jesus. Okay, I'm not going to lie. This is mortifying. But
there was this one time I got really into those historical romance novels.
LUKE: I'm not familiar with the genre myself. Can you let us know about the
historical romance novel? What's an example of one?
CARLA: Like, you know, the ones with the covers, whether some shirtless dude with long
hair on a horse or whatever. They're setting like the 1800s or medieval times. I
went through this whole phase reading them a few years back when things with my
ex were already going downhill.
LUKE: Okay, what is it about that style of book that got to you? Is
it the setting or is it the characters or is it just the raunchiness of
them?
CARLA: For real though, it was the whole fantasy of it, you know? Like, these
women in the books, they'd have all these men just obsessed with them, pursuing them,
saying all this flowery stuff. And I'm sitting there in my apartment with a husband
who won't even look up from his phone. So yeah, the raunchiness was part of
it, but it was more like...
LUKE: More like what?
CARLA: More like the escape, I guess. Like in those books, the guy actually gives
a shit. He's fighting duels over her or sneaking into her bedroom window or whatever.
Meanwhile, my ex was in the other room playing Call of Duty with his headset
on, ignoring me for hours.
LUKE: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, but you know, that's why they call
them fantasy novels. Thank you for the call. I'm glad that you burned those pictures
and it is a little weird that you've got that conversation going with the ex-husband's
new girlfriend. But, you know, you can take that as far as you want or
end it wherever you're at. Depends on how you feel about it. But thanks for
the call and I imagine we'll talk to you some other night. Wow. That was...
That was deep, man. Okay. Vince. Vince, welcome to the show. What's good to you
up tonight.
VINCE: Yeah, hey Luke. Appreciate you taking the call. So I just spent the last
two hours sitting in my tow truck outside a close circle K, watching a video
of myself say a bunch of shit I never said. My daughter showed it to
me earlier. She's crying because kids at her school are passing it around, asking if
I really talk like that about their parents.
LUKE: Oh man, that is weird. Is it like an AI video or did somebody
change the audio out from under a real video from you? Who made this, you
know?
VINCE: It's one of those AI things, yeah. My face, my voice. But I'm saying
I've been hiding money from my ex-wife Linda. And running my mouth about half the
parents at Beckers High School. I have no idea who made it. Could be some
kid with too much time. Could be somebody with an actual problem with me.
LUKE: Yeah, that doesn't sound like a kid with too much time. I mean, that's
awful specific to go after you. Does anybody have a reason to do that? It
seems more like somebody with an actual problem with you to target you specifically. That's
very scary.
VINCE: Well, that's the thing that's got me twisted up. I've been doing tow workout
here for 23 years. You piss people off in that job, you know? Somebody thinks
you gouged them on a tow. Or maybe I had to impound a car and
they're still sore about it.
LUKE: Well, where is the video? Was it posted on Facebook or something like that?
Is it in a public place that people are finding? I mean, how did your
kids friends at school find that?
VINCE: Beckers said it started going around on some group chat with kids from her
school. Then it hit Instagram and Snapchat. I don't even know if it's on Facebook
yet. Linda won't answer my phone, so I can't ask if people are sending it
to her. The video is just me supposedly sitting in my truck talking to somebody,
saying I've got cash stashed that Linda doesn't know about and calling out specific parents
by name.
LUKE: Yeah, it's going to be hard to get out from under that one, I
think. You know what I would do? I would probably turn that into a public
opinion type piece and talk to the newspaper and say, look, this is happening. Maybe
talk to the police department and get a warning sent out that people are being
impersonated and somehow make it known to the public that this is a thing that
you didn't do and that they also are at risk for it happening to them.
VINCE: That's smart, yeah. I hadn't thought about the newspaper angle. We got the times
independent. They might actually run with that since it's local. My worry is, if I
go public with it, does that just make more people go looking for the video?
LUKE: It might, it very well might, but as long as they're finding that video
with the context that this is fake, they're going to be more scared about when
it happens to them than they are going to be blaming you about what was
said. Also, if you can track down where the video is posted, you can flag
it as abuse and get the social media companies to take it down with varying
degrees of success. Those are all avenues that you can go. I don't know that
there's any better way to deal with it.
VINCE: Yeah, I can start flagging it wherever I find it. The thing that's eating
at me though is Linda. We're separated right now. Not divorced, just trying to figure
things out. And her phone's been blowing up about this.
LUKE: Yeah, that's terrible and that's definitely not going to help your situation. But if
you could get, if you can have a conversation with her and somehow convince her
that it's not real or you know what you could do, you could make a
fake one with somebody else, a fake person. And then show her how easy it
is to do so that she can kind of wrap her head around how it
could have been done to you.
VINCE: Huh. I mean, I don't even know how to make one of those things.
But maybe I could find somebody who does. Show her it's not some complicated spy
stuff. Just some app any Jackass can use. The problem is getting her to actually
talk to me long enough to show her anything. She's already been on edge about
money since the separation. And now there's a video of me saying I've been hiding
cash from her.
LUKE: Yeah, that's a tough, tough hill to climb for sure. But it sounds like
things aren't going well anyway. And are you hoping to get back together with this
woman or do you think it's going the other way before this happened?
VINCE: Before this, I thought we had a shot. We've been married 16 years. This
separation was supposed to be temporary just until we cooled off and fitted some things
out. I moved into that little place of Cancreek Road two months ago. We were
still talking most days being civil about Becca's schedule and all that.
LUKE: Well, I wish you the best of luck with that one. That sounds like
an uphill battle. And that's really shitty that that happened to you. So let the
public know, try and get it ahead of it. And just be honest. Just say,
hey, wasn't me.
VINCE: Yeah, I appreciate it. I'm going to call the times independent first thing in
the morning. Maybe swing by the sheriff's office too. Just sucks that some asshole with
a computer can blow up your life like this. And there's not much you can
do about it except damage control.
LUKE: That's true. Now, I've got a question for you, Vince. Are you ready for
my question?
VINCE: Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Go ahead. What have you got?
LUKE: All right. Tell me something that you pretended to be into for way too
long.
LUKE: Like something that you weren't really into, but you pretended to be cool or
to appease a partner. Huh. Okay. Linda used to drag me to this hot yoga
place in town. I went for like six months, twice a week, pretending I was
getting something out of it. Truth is, I just felt like a sweaty idiot the
whole time. Couldn't do half the poses. And I was only there because she said
we needed to do more things together. Oh, yeah. The old hot yoga. That's rough.
Okay. Well, thanks for the call. And I hope it all works out for you
with your revenge porn situation there. I will talk to you later on down the
line. Yolanda. Yolanda, thanks for calling in. What's happening tonight?
YOLANDA: Hey, Luke. Yeah, this is Yolanda. I'm calling from Lodzburg. I just, man, I've
been sitting out in my truck for the past 20 minutes because I can't go
back inside. My dad looked at me earlier tonight and called me Michael, which is
my brother's name.
LUKE: Okay, enough. That doesn't say that what you're calling a radio show because of
that because the dude misspoke. Come on. I don't know if that's worth you being
upset about.
YOLANDA: No, you don't get it. Michael's been dead for 11 years. My dad has
never not once mixed us up. And it wasn't just like he said the wrong
name and corrected himself. He looked right at me and said, Michael, when did you
get so tall? Like he was seeing him. Not me.
LUKE: Oh, okay. Well, that is pretty disturbing. Was he under the influence of something?
Or do you think maybe he's coming down with a little bit of the dementia?
YOLANDA: That's what I'm scared of, yeah. He's 73 and he's been forgetting little things
here and there. Like where he put his keys, what they trash pick up is.
But this felt different. This felt like a door closing, you know?
LUKE: Yeah, that's a little rough. So I guess you're going to have to collect
your thoughts out there for a little bit and then go in there and talk
to him and maybe find out what it is that's going on in his mind.
Not a confrontation, but just ask the man, hey, you called me Michael. That was
a little bit weird and have that conversation and see if maybe you need to
get some doctors involved.
YOLANDA: He's already asleep. He goes down at like 8.30 every night, has for years.
LUKE: Alright, well then have that conversation with him at breakfast in the morning. Whenever
the next you get an opportunity to speak to him, don't let that one slide,
figure out what's going on.
YOLANDA: Yeah, I will. The thing is though, and this is the part that's really
messing with me. When he said it, for just a second, I felt like maybe
he was right. Like maybe I have been wearing Michael's face this whole time and
just didn't know it.
LUKE: Well, you don't sound like a Michael to me, but even if you were,
if you were taking on parts of Michael's personality into yourself, that's kind of a
nice way to remember someone, I think. So that's not such a horrible thing. Why
would you think that it is?
YOLANDA: Because I go out to where he died every few months. Out in the
palancillos, I tell myself it's just good hiking. But I always end up at that
exact spot on the trail where the Ranger found his truck. And I sit there
and I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm not praying, I'm not talking to
him. I'm just sitting there like I'm waiting for something.
LUKE: Well, that sounds like a way of grieving and I think that's a normal
thing. You can't bring them back. You know, somebody that's died has died and you
can just remember their memory. And I think it's good if you're taking on parts
of that person's personality into yourself that keeps them alive in some strange way.
YOLANDA: Maybe, but I was 17 when he died and he was 24. And now
I'm older than he ever got to be. So what am I even holding on
to? Some version of him that never got to exist past 24? I don't know
man.
LUKE: Yeah, what's wrong with that? I mean, you knew him at 24 and that's
how your memory of him is going to be. He's going to be 24 forever
for you. And that's not such a bad thing.
YOLANDA: I guess not. It's just weird thinking my dad might start losing more of
this stuff, you know.
LUKE: Yeah, that is tough. And unfortunately, that's the age that we're at, you know,
where our parents are getting older. And those are the types of problems that people
are dealing with in this era, this age. So hopefully that all works out and
it was just an odd occurrence. But if it's more than that, you should get
to the bottom of it sooner rather than later, because there might be some early
preventative stuff that can be done. I'm not a doctor, so I don't know what
meds are available for those types of things. But for all you know, he could
have been up and took the wrong pills today and just been seeing stuff that
wasn't there.
YOLANDA: Yeah, that's true. He does have like four different prescriptions he takes in the
morning. Could have just mixed something up. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Make sure he's
got them all straight. Thanks, Luke.
LUKE: You're welcome, Melinda. And I wish you both the best of luck. And now
it's time for another word from our sponsors. This episode is sponsored by Shoespreyco. It's
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up on the line we have Dennis. Dennis, why don't you tell us about your
most horrifying time you're ever caught by your family doing something you aren't supposed to
be?
DENNIS: Oh man, okay so this is bad. I was maybe 19. Home on leave.
And I'm in my childhood bedroom at like two in the afternoon just absolutely going
to town, right? Doors closed. I figured everyone's at work.
LUKE: Oh man, we've all been there. What happened?
DENNIS: Yeah, so my mom apparently came home early because she forgot something. And she
just, she doesn't knock, never has, just walks right in asking if I've seen her
car keys. I'm scrambling trying to like cover up and she just freezes. We both
freeze and then she goes, your father's keys are probably in the kitchen and backs
out like nothing happened.
LUKE: Uh-huh. Have you ever talked about it since?
DENNIS: Never, not once. That was 15 years ago and we have never acknowledged it
happened.
LUKE: Well, that's the appropriate response. Thank you for the story, sir. Why are you
calling in tonight?
DENNIS: Yeah, thanks, Luke. Appreciate you letting me get that off my chest. Have a
good one.
LUKE: Yeah, no problem, glad I could help. Okay, okay, Shonda, welcome to the show.
What's happening tonight, Shonda?
SHONDA: Oh man, well I'm sitting in a flying J parking lot right now because
my transmission just died on the way back from Lord's Burg. And I've been out
here three hours waiting on a quote. I already know I can't pay. Mechanics said
1400 minimum, probably two grand. And I've got court reporter work in Silver City tomorrow
and Friday that I'm about to lose if I can't get there.
LUKE: Well, I know there are sometimes people driving for Uber or left around Lord's
Burg. Maybe you can get one of them tomorrow, but we can ask our listeners
if anybody is out in the Lord's Burg area. If you could give Shonda a
ride to Silver City tomorrow, that would help her out.
SHONDA: That's really kind of you, Luke. I appreciate that. I didn't even think about
Uber out here. My brain's just been stuck on the car, you know?
LUKE: Yeah, and honestly, Uber's hit her mess. I mean, there's I think maybe one
person in town that doesn't whenever they feel like it.
SHONDA: So I'm not sure you're going to be able to get an Uber or
a taxi or anything like that, but I'm sure that one of our fine listeners
will be able to help you out in the morning. I hope so. I've just
been sitting here talking to my late husband, Danny, like he's still around, which probably
sounds crazy, but he used to handle all this car stuff, and I feel so
lost with it. Then I felt bad calling you because there's probably people with real
problems listening.
LUKE: Hey, I don't know. I would call that a real problem if you're stuck
abandoned in a place like Lord's Burg, nobody wants to be in that situation. But
I hope that you could find a mechanic that can do it for something that
you can afford, and that you're able to get to work in the morning and
secure whatever funding you need to fix that car.
SHONDA: Yeah, me too. I just hate that I'm out here alone with this, you
know? Danny's been gone four years now, and most days I'm fine, but nights like
this just hit different.
LUKE: I certainly understand. Well, you're not alone. You've got the whole look at the
roost viewership in your corner, and I wouldn't be surprised if somebody shows up there
at the Flying J to help you out.
SHONDA: That would be something. I really appreciate you letting me vent, Lou. Just needed
to hear another voice tonight, instead of sitting out here in the dark by myself
watching my phone die.
LUKE: Yeah, well, you're at a 24-hour truck stop, so that's good. I'm sure they
can help you charge your phone or call somebody or find a place to stay
tonight if you need to. But I've got a question for you, Shonda, to lighten
the mood a bit. Are you ready for that?
SHONDA: Oh, Lord. Okay. Yeah. Go ahead.
LUKE: Okay, tell us about a YouTube video that's in your search history that you're
embarrassed about, that you wouldn't want anybody to find.
SHONDA: Oh, man, you're really going to make me say this on air. All right,
so I've been watching these videos on how to talk to your dead spouse. Like
not say on stuff, just grief counselors talking about continuing bonds. Whatever they call it.
LUKE: Well, I don't think that's very embarrassing. I think that's probably a healthy way
to deal with grief. And are they helping you? Are you finding some solace in
those videos?
SHONDA: A little. Yeah. They make me feel less crazy for doing what I was
doing tonight in the parking lot. But honestly, the embarrassing part is that after I
watch those, YouTube starts recommending me all these widow dating advice videos. And I've clicked
on a few.
LUKE: Okay, and what is some of the best widow dating advice that you've got
from these videos?
SHONDA: Well, the main thing they all say is don't feel guilty about it, which
is easier said than done. And apparently, four years is when a lot of people
start thinking about it. So I'm right on schedule, I guess. But the advice that
stuck with me was this. One lady saying, your late husband would want you to
be happy, not loyal to a memory. That one kind of messed me up for
a few days.
LUKE: Yeah, that's understandable. And I definitely understand where you're coming from with the guilt.
I feel guilty about pretty much anything I've ever said or done in my entire
life. And it's just something that I live with. And under current of guilt, constantly,
that I know it doesn't really deserve to be there, but it is anyway. And
you know, you just got to deal with the emotions that you get and don't
give them any more credence than they deserve.
SHONDA: Yeah, that's the thing though. Right? Like I know logically, Danny wouldn't want me
sitting alone in a broken-down car at a truck stop at midnight, feeling sorry for
myself. He'd probably be laughing at me right now for not joining Triple A like
he told me to do a hundred times. But then I think about actually going
on a date with somebody and my stomach just drops.
LUKE: Well, you don't have to go on a date with anybody if you don't
want to. When you're ready, you're ready. And you know what? For all you know,
whoever comes to pick you up tonight at the Flying Jay in Lordsburg, they might
be the one. And that's okay. You don't have to feel guilty about it, even
though you probably will. You can have more than one feeling at the same time,
so you can feel a little bit guilty and also feel good and alive. And
all of those things are okay.
SHONDA: Lordsburg, yeah. And honestly, the way this night's going, the tow truck drivers probably
going to be like 65 and tell me about his sciatica the whole ride. But
I hear what you're saying. Danny used to say I was bad at letting myself
feel two things at once that I'd pick one emotion and commit to it like
I was filing a brief.
LUKE: Well, you know, I wish you the best luck with those things and with
your situation broken down there in Lordsburg. If anybody's out there listening, they can help
Shonda. Please do what you can and show her how fierce the look at the
Ruth's community can be to help those in need in our local area. Thanks for
calling in Shonda. We got to move on, but I hope you don't end up
stuck there for too long. All right. We're going to take one more call and
that will be the end of our show. Thanks everybody that called in today. And
this has been Luke at the Roost. You can find more about our show at
LukeAtTheRoost.com. And yeah, follow us on the old socials. All right, Darnell, you're the last
caller of the evening. What are you calling in for, sir?
DARNELL: Yeah, Luke, I appreciate you taking the call this late. Thanks. So I just
got home today.
LUKE: Okay.
DARNELL: Literally four hours ago from 90 days in we have down in Tucson.
LUKE: All right.
DARNELL: And I walk into my apartment. My roommate Travis left me a six pack
of Takate. My apartment. And with a posted that says, welcome back bro. Like he
thought he was being nice.
LUKE: Yes, he did. And on standing here staring at it, thinking, did this dude
not hear a single thing I told him before I left? I called him from
the facility, man.
DARNELL: Well, you know what, when you're drinking partners with somebody and you stop drinking,
and they start to grieve for you in a weird way and feel isolated and
alone. So it makes sense that somebody that you used to party with is not
going to want to lose that relationship and be all alone. So I can understand
the insensitivity there. Your directive at this point is to not drink that. You can
either pour it down the toilet or just put it back in the fridge. If
you want to stay clean and sober though, that's on you. And you have to
be able to do that in the presence of alcohol.
LUKE: Yeah. No, I hear you. I poured it out about 20 minutes ago. That's
not the issue. I can handle being around it.
DARNELL: I bet you can.
LUKE: I know. But what's messing with me is I did everything they told me
to do. 90 days, every group session, everyone on one called my sponsor twice a
day.
LUKE: Well, that's good. I mean, keep doing those things and you'll continue to get
what you're getting, which is another day of sobriety. And that's all that an alcoholic
can hope for. So I wish you the best. And I've got a question for
you. Are you ready for my questions, sir?
DARNELL: Yeah. Go ahead. Hit me with it.
LUKE: Where is the weirdest place you've ever had to piss?
DARNELL: To peace. To piss. Oh, man. Probably in a mock bucket. The high-the-wall greens
on Oracle Road at like three in the morning. I was working overnight, stalking. And
the bathroom was locked because some tweaker had been in there for an hour. Manager
wouldn't open it. Told me to figure it out.
LUKE: All right. Well, it sounds like you did the right thing. In both situations
today in your life, you put out the booze and you pissed in the mob
bucket. And that's great. So I hope that you have another day of sobriety and
keep on doing what you're doing. Because that's how you're going to recover. So thanks
for calling in. Thanks to everybody that called in today. This has been Luke at
The Roost and we'll talk to you again tomorrow.